CHARLOTTE, NC — The situation at ClayWeylandCorp has escalated. Three new handmade creatures have appeared in the Etsy store, and authorities are currently trying to determine who thought this was a good idea.
The new arrivals include:
👁️ Gavroche — Your Lovely Dreamcatcher! — a suspiciously cheerful little creature with enormous blue eyes. $65.
🐉 Smaug’s Severed Dragon Foreclaw — apparently somebody decided that owning an entire dragon was excessive, so they started selling the body parts instead. $155.
⚙️🐲 VULKRON-9 Cyber Dragon — a cybernetic dragon that looks like it escaped from a Dieselpunk laboratory shortly before the laboratory exploded. $179.
All three are handmade by ClayWeylandCorp, which has been turning polymer clay into monsters, robots, dragons and other questionable objects since 2021.
The creatures are currently contained inside the Etsy store.
For now.
👉 Visit ClayWeylandCorp on Etsy
Experts recommend purchasing before somebody else does.
After all, there are only so many cyber dragons and severed dragon paws a responsible society can produce.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
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