WASHINGTON—Assuring the American people he would not let the legal system sway his judgment in any decision he makes, recently sworn-in Attorney General Todd Blanche vowed at a press conference Monday to remain fully independent of the law. “The autonomy of the Office of the Attorney General is paramount, and I will defend it against any act, statute, ordinance, or even basic common-law principle,” said Blanche, emphasizing that no federal law or constitutional restriction would have any influence whatsoever upon his investigations, prosecutions, or other official actions. “For far too long, the Department of Justice has displayed a prominent pro-law bias, but under my tenure that will be rectified immediately. As of this morning, I have shelved all cases against those accused of crimes and launched inquiries into several people toward whom the president has expressed a slight personal distaste.” Blanche added that he would wholeheartedly defend President Donald Trump from any attempt to restrain his actions using the U.S. Constitution.
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Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
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