Whether shorts are office-appropriate attire has ignited an online debate. The Onion examines the pros and cons of wearing shorts in the office.
PRO
New scapegoat for bad quarter
Good to have full range of movement while sitting stationary for eight hours
A well-aired cog is a productive cog
Ready to attend barbecue at a moment’s notice
Makes it easy to keep track of who won’t be promoted
You only have one pair of pants
CON
Wedding vows specifically promised ankles for spouse’s enjoyment only
May encourage slacking, if not outright lollygagging
Exposes vulnerable back of knee to attacks
Death knell for formal kilts
Casual atmosphere immediately triggers all-staff fuckfest
You still work in marketing
The post Pros And Cons Of Wearing Shorts In The Office appeared first on The Onion.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
⚖️ ENTER THE LEGALIZER
Think the government has no idea what it's doing? Put your case before the Federal Case Terminal and find out.
