VATICAN CITY—In a wild and sacred competition attended by a screaming, raucous crowd of Catholic religious leaders at Saint Peter’s Basilica, hot young priests were soaked in holy water Friday during the Vatican’s annual Wet Vestment Contest. “All these hunky, muscular clergymen, who are just absolutely drenched in Holy Water and showing everything through those thin cassocks, prove that God is calling us and opening our hearts,” said 93-year-old Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, adding that the young priests’ usually concealed, rock-hard six-packs were on full display to the grateful crowd. “When Father Thomas ripped open his see-through frock then dropped to his knees and started sucking on his crucifix, the place just went nuts. The Lord is working through Father Thomas to raise our spirits and a whole lot more. His rock-hard, glistening body is a precious gift from God.” At press time, Cardinal Bertone was taking a body shot of the Blood of Christ from a competitor’s navel.
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VATICAN CITY—In a wild and sacred competition attended by a screaming, raucous crowd of Catholic religious leaders at Saint Peter’s Basilica, hot young priests were soaked in holy water Friday during the Vatican’s annual Wet Vestment Contest. “All these hunky, muscular clergymen, who are just absolutely drenched in Holy Water and showing everything through those
The post Hot Young Priests Soaked In Holy Water During Vatican’s Annual Wet Vestment Contest appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.