MENLO PARK, CA—Touting the new software update as a staggering innovation no other wearable technology could offer, CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced Wednesday that Meta’s smart glasses would now remind users to blink to appear human. “Every 30 to 60 seconds, our revolutionary heads-up display will prompt wearers to slowly close and then reopen their eyes to create the illusion of natural blinking,” said Zuckerberg, adding that he himself was glad to have one less humanlike task to remember to perform. “Thanks to Meta’s powerful artificial intelligence, myself and millions of other users are one step closer to convincing the people around us that we’re just regular human beings with nothing to hide. Never before has any wearable technology made it so simple and easy to deceive the Earthlings. I personally use this feature all the time.” Zuckerberg also promised that the next version of Meta glasses would dispense water droplets at key moments to mimic “pathetic” human emotions.
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Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.