DREAM THEATER Releases Graphic Novel: Prepare for Maximum Prog-Nostalgia Induced Coma
Oh, sweet merciful prog! 🙄 In October 2023, the planets aligned, the unicorns 🦄 danced, and Mike Portnoy, after a…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Robert Plant and Saving Grace Drop ‘Gospel Plough’ – Prepare for the Overhyped Debut Album
Robert Plant, bless his heart, is still at it. He and his merry band of musical misfits, SAVING GRACE (because…
ANTHRAX: Still Alive? Book Your Geriatric Metal Cruise Cabin Now!
Ahoy, shipmates! Get ready to drain your bank accounts 💸 because 70000 Tons Of Metal, the only metal cruise that…
BREAKING: Old Book About Some Band With a Blimp On It To Arrive In September, Who Cares
Lansdowne Books, those purveyors of fine literature (and by “fine” we mean “overpriced”), have pre-launched (yes, PRE-launched, like it’s going…
Aerosmith’s Joe Perry Dumps Old Drummer, Finds New One Behind the Kit for Upcoming THE JOE PERRY PROJECT Tour
OMG! 😱 Another band member bites the dust! 💀 Apparently, STONE TEMPLE PILOTS’ resident stickman Eric Kretz has decided that…
Rise Against Vomits Out Another Anthem: ‘Ricochet’ Music Video Now Available For Your Disappointment
RISE AGAINST, those purveyors of whiny sing-alongs disguised as ‘punk rock,’ have graced us with a new single, “Ricochet,” from…
Aerosmith Reunion: Get Ready for Geriatric Rock ‘n’ Roll
So, apparently, AEROSMITH, those dinosaurs of rock, are contemplating *another* farewell concert? 😂 Like, haven’t they milked this retirement thing…
Epica’s Simone Simons Gushes Over Symphonic Metal: ‘It Blew My Tiny Mind’
In a recent interview with some dude from Brazil 🇧🇷 (who probably thinks samba is metal), EPICA’s vocal powerhouse, Simone…
Fear Factory’s New Singer Somehow Convinced He’s Not Dreaming
In an interview with the Mike James Rock Show 🎤 (because who else would care?), FEAR FACTORY’s new singer Milo…
Sharon Osbourne Roasts Ridiculous Claims of $190M Charity Windfall: ‘Yeah Right’
Sharon Osbourne, the puppet master 🎭 behind the Prince of Darkness 🦇 (RIP, btw, spoiler alert 🚨), has come out…