So, get this! IRON MAIDEN’s very own air-raid siren, Bruce Dickinson, decided to grace the Los Angeles Kings with his presence. Apparently, he belted out the U.S. national anthem on October 7 at the Crypto.com Arena (yeah, I still call it Staples Center). It was against the Colorado Avalanche, which, let’s be honest, is just an excuse to watch dudes in tights slap a puck around. Oh, and it was part of the NHL’s (National Hockey League, for those living under a rock) opening day. Even better, it was one of *three* games on ESPN. Talk about overkill 🙄.
And because one dose of Bruce is clearly never enough, the LA Kings decided to bless us with an *eight-minute* (!!!) behind-the-scenes video on YouTube. Yes, EIGHT whole minutes dedicated to watching Bruce probably drink tea and complain about the lighting. Check it out below…if you dare 😈.
But wait, there’s more! Before channeling his inner Mariah Carey at a hockey game, Bruce also sang the anthem for the Pittsburgh Steelers on September 14. Because apparently, football fans are just *dying* to hear a British rocker butcher their national song 🤣.
Bruce, in his infinite wisdom, revealed his NFL gig during an interview with some soprano named Elizabeth Zharoff. He was all, “I’ll let you in to a secret…” as if singing the national anthem is some top-secret government mission. He claimed he was doing it *a cappella*, which is just a fancy way of saying “I hope I don’t forget the words.” He was also like, “as long as you start at the right place, you’re good to go.” Yeah, because that’s all it takes to nail a song that has tripped up actual professional singers for decades 😂.
But hold on to your hats, folks! Bruce actually *practiced* the anthem *before* subjecting the Steelers fans to it! He debuted his rendition at a solo concert at the House Of Blues in Boston on September 11. He prefaced it with a rambling speech about how he was “trying to avoid the embarrassment of reading the fucking words off the back of my hand.” Real professional, Bruce 👍. He also made sure to remind everyone that it was 9/11, because nothing says “respectful remembrance” like a heavy metal singer butchering “The Star-Spangled Banner.”
He then went on some tangent about how he normally does an a cappella version of ‘Revelations’ (because, you know, it’s all about HIM), but he figured he’d inflict the national anthem on the audience because “it’s the only fucking time I’m gonna practice it.” Thanks for the warning, Bruce! 🙄
Oh, and the best part? He was chatting with BAD RELIGION in Brazil (because punk rockers are *totally* national anthem experts), and they told him to “make sure you start low.” Solid advice, Bruce. Maybe next time, ask someone who actually knows what they’re doing 🤔.
Then he proceeded to sing a few lines, with the audience occasionally joining in, probably out of pity. It’s like karaoke night, but with higher stakes and more national pride on the line 🥴.
Back in 2012, Bruce regaled Travel Trade Gazette with his 9/11 experience. Apparently, he was “reading a Boeing 757 manual” when the towers got hit. Riveting stuff, Bruce. Glad you had your priorities straight 🙄.
In 2015, he told “Nights With Alice Cooper” that there was “no panic” after the towers fell. Just an “air of ‘unreality.'” Sure, Bruce. Because that’s *exactly* what everyone remembers 🙄. He wandered around, gave blood (which they didn’t need), and smelled “acrid shit.” What a hero! 🤣
He then decided to hide in his room because “this has got bad shit in it.” Way to rally the troops, Bruce! Maybe he should have offered to sing the national anthem to comfort everyone? Oh wait… 🤔
Anyway, Bruce is still dragging around his 2024 backing band, including Dave Moreno, Mistheria, and Tanya O’Callaghan, plus some new guys named Philip Näslund and Chris Declercq. But don’t worry, Roy “Z” Ramirez is NOT part of the tour. Because apparently, he has better things to do than watch Bruce butcher national anthems 😜.
The “Mandrake Project Live 2025” tour kicked off in Anaheim, because California is clearly a glutton for punishment.
It’s all in support of “The Mandrake Project”, which is probably just another excuse for Bruce to show off his Renaissance man skills 🙄.
And don’t forget “More Balls To Picasso”, because who *doesn’t* need a reworked version of a 30-year-old album? 🤑
Let’s not forget that Bruce made his debut with IRON MAIDEN on “Number Of The Beast“. Then he quit to be replaced by Blaze Bayley. After some albums with Adrian Smith, Bruce came crawling back to MAIDEN along with Smith.
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
