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Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
WHITECHAPEL Bravely Announces They’re Still Playing Music in 2025, Will Subject U.S. to ‘Hymns In Dissonance’ in Its Entirety
Breaking

WHITECHAPEL Bravely Announces They’re Still Playing Music in 2025, Will Subject U.S. to ‘Hymns In Dissonance’ in Its Entirety

Chord F. DiscordMay 27, 2025May 27, 2025

Alright, metalheads (and those who accidentally clicked on this link thinking it was a recipe for vegan cupcakes 🧁), buckle…

Gene Hoglan Says Dark Angel’s New Album Will Totally Melt Your Face (Probably Not)
Breaking

Gene Hoglan Says Dark Angel’s New Album Will Totally Melt Your Face (Probably Not)

Chord F. DiscordMay 26, 2025May 26, 2025

OMG! 😱 After approximately eleventy billion years, DARK ANGEL, those geriatric thrash metal “pioneers” from California, are FINALLY releasing a…

GHOST: “Phone-Free” Tour Gets Owned by Phone (Oslo Show Leaked!)
Breaking

GHOST: “Phone-Free” Tour Gets Owned by Phone (Oslo Show Leaked!)

Chord F. DiscordMay 25, 2025May 25, 2025

Fan-filmed video of GHOST performing the song “Square Hammer” on May 24 at Spektrum in Oslo, Norway can be seen…

Taime Downe Cries on Stage (Again) After Losing Another One
Breaking

Taime Downe Cries on Stage (Again) After Losing Another One

Chord F. DiscordMay 25, 2025May 25, 2025

In a riveting exposé with Troy Patrick Farrell of the earth-shattering This That And The Other radio show (never heard…

AC/DC’s Chicago Concert in 4K: Prepare to Have Your Eyeballs Melted (Maybe) During Their 2025 “We Swear This Is The Last One” Tour
Breaking

AC/DC’s Chicago Concert in 4K: Prepare to Have Your Eyeballs Melted (Maybe) During Their 2025 “We Swear This Is The Last One” Tour

Chord F. DiscordMay 25, 2025May 26, 2025

OMG! 😱 MusicJunkie422 (probably some tone-deaf millennial) has uploaded 4K video of AC/DC’s May 24 concert at Soldier Field in…

PATRIK JENSEN of THE HAUNTED Finally Figured Out How to Plug In His Guitar After 8 Whole Years
Breaking

PATRIK JENSEN of THE HAUNTED Finally Figured Out How to Plug In His Guitar After 8 Whole Years

Chord F. DiscordMay 24, 2025May 24, 2025

So, THE HAUNTED, those Swedish thrash metal *pioneers* (air quotes, obviously), are FINALLY gracing us with a new album, “Songs…

Todd Sucherman of STYX Reveals Shocking Truth: Drummers are Basically Just Flailing, Rhythmically-Challenged Garbage People
Breaking

Todd Sucherman of STYX Reveals Shocking Truth: Drummers are Basically Just Flailing, Rhythmically-Challenged Garbage People

Chord F. DiscordMay 24, 2025May 24, 2025

In a shocking exposé with The UK Drum Show Official Podcast (because who ELSE would interview him?), STYX drummer and…

Ron ‘Bumblefoot’ Thal: Proves Music Can Unite Even the Most Hopelessly Clueless (Probably)
Breaking

Ron ‘Bumblefoot’ Thal: Proves Music Can Unite Even the Most Hopelessly Clueless (Probably)

Chord F. DiscordMay 24, 2025May 24, 2025

Bumblefoot, the guy who played guitar in Guns N’ Roses for, like, five minutes, is now telling us all about…

Kelly Hansen Flees Foreigner Before They Realize He’s Not Lou Gramm
Breaking

Kelly Hansen Flees Foreigner Before They Realize He’s Not Lou Gramm

Chord F. DiscordMay 23, 2025May 23, 2025

FOREIGNER’s Kelly Hansen, the guy who replaced the *real* voice, has decided to peace out. Apparently, screaming “Juke Box Hero”…

Big Wreck Still Exists, Apparently, Releases Song Called ‘Believer’ (Whatever)
Breaking

Big Wreck Still Exists, Apparently, Releases Song Called ‘Believer’ (Whatever)

Chord F. DiscordMay 23, 2025May 23, 2025

**Oh. My. Gawd. 🙄 It’s 2025 and apparently BIG WRECK is still a thing? Like, seriously? Did anyone actually ask…

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