Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway
Oh Joy, Pantera is Back... Sort Of 🤩
Breaking, Music News

CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway

Chord F. DiscordMay 30, 2026May 30, 2026

The legendary metal band Pantera is back, but not really 🤔. I mean, it’s not like they’re back with their…

IN THIS MOMENT Returns Because You Clearly Didn’t Get Enough Of Their Screaming In Your Ears With Their Brand New Earworm ‘Sleeping With The Enemy’ That Will Haunt You Forever
Breaking, Music News

IN THIS MOMENT Returns Because You Clearly Didn’t Get Enough Of Their Screaming In Your Ears With Their Brand New Earworm ‘Sleeping With The Enemy’ That Will Haunt You Forever

Chord F. DiscordMay 29, 2026May 29, 2026

Get ready for the most epic, life-changing, and awe-inspiring news ever: IN THIS MOMENT is back with a new single,…

Oh Great Another Has Been Band Releases a Single from Their Desperate Attempt at Relevance Before They Fade into Obscurity with Their Final Studio Album Boom Bang Goodbye called Wait
Breaking News: German Hard Rock Legends SINNER Release New Single "Wait" and It's Actually Not Terrible 🤯
Breaking, Music News

Oh Great Another Has Been Band Releases a Single from Their Desperate Attempt at Relevance Before They Fade into Obscurity with Their Final Studio Album Boom Bang Goodbye called Wait

Chord F. DiscordMay 29, 2026May 29, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, the German hard rock veterans SINNER have released a new single, “Wait”, and it’s…

OH JOY Another Has Been from the 80s is Desperately Trying to be Relevant Again with Their Super Original Sounding Solo Album Called Dirty Foot Lane Wow What a Unique Title
Breaking, Music News

OH JOY Another Has Been from the 80s is Desperately Trying to be Relevant Again with Their Super Original Sounding Solo Album Called Dirty Foot Lane Wow What a Unique Title

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2026May 28, 2026

Legendary guitarist Dave Hill is releasing a new album, because you clearly didn’t have enough of his solo work already…

STRYPER Releases New Single Because You Clearly Weren’t Tired of Their Power Ballads Yet
Breaking News: STRYPER Returns with New Single, and Honestly, We're Not Sure If We're Alright or Okay with It 🤔
Breaking, Music News

STRYPER Releases New Single Because You Clearly Weren’t Tired of Their Power Ballads Yet

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2026May 28, 2026

The legendary Christian metal band STRYPER has just released a new single, “I’m Alright (I’m Okay)”, and we’re still trying…

ARCHITECTS Singer SAM CARTER Reveals The Most Metal Thing That’s Ever Happened To Him: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Brought Them A Cake And Didn’t Even Smash It
Breaking, Music News

ARCHITECTS Singer SAM CARTER Reveals The Most Metal Thing That’s Ever Happened To Him: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Brought Them A Cake And Didn’t Even Smash It

Chord F. DiscordMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

Breaking news: Sam Carter from ARCHITECTS is basically the coolest guy ever, and we’re all just jealous of his awesome…

BREAKING: ANTHRAX Debuts New Song ‘Its For The Kids’ Because Clearly The World Was Missing A 60 Year Old Man Screaming About Juvenile Delinquency
Breaking, Music News

BREAKING: ANTHRAX Debuts New Song ‘Its For The Kids’ Because Clearly The World Was Missing A 60 Year Old Man Screaming About Juvenile Delinquency

Chord F. DiscordMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

So, you want to know about ANTHRAX’s new single, “It’s For The Kids”? 🤔 Well, let me tell you, it’s…

MARK MORTON Still Shocked Nobody Has Copied LAMB OF GOD’s Unique Sound After Only 25 Years of Being Totally Original and Not At All Influenced by Anyone Else
Breaking, Music News

MARK MORTON Still Shocked Nobody Has Copied LAMB OF GOD’s Unique Sound After Only 25 Years of Being Totally Original and Not At All Influenced by Anyone Else

Chord F. DiscordMay 26, 2026May 26, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, LAMB OF GOD guitarist Mark Morton revealed that the band’s latest album, “Into Oblivion”,…

VOIVOD’s AWAY Loses Brain Cells Trying to Keep Up with Bunch of Fancy Music Nerds in Orchestra Nightmare Come to Life
Breaking News: VOIVOD's Upcoming Album "Symphonique" is Going to be a Wild Ride 🎢🤯
Breaking, Music News

VOIVOD’s AWAY Loses Brain Cells Trying to Keep Up with Bunch of Fancy Music Nerds in Orchestra Nightmare Come to Life

Chord F. DiscordMay 26, 2026May 26, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, the Canadian heavy metal band VOIVOD has announced their upcoming album “Symphonique”, a live…

SEVENDUST’s LAJON WITHERSPOON Reveals Shocking Truth: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Equally Important Dudes With Beards And Guitar Riffs Who Can’t Decide On Anything
Breaking, Music News

SEVENDUST’s LAJON WITHERSPOON Reveals Shocking Truth: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Equally Important Dudes With Beards And Guitar Riffs Who Can’t Decide On Anything

Chord F. DiscordMay 25, 2026May 25, 2026

Wow, you guys, the most epic thing just happened – SEVENDUST released a new album called “One” and it’s literally…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 47 48 49 … 167 Next

Latest posts

  • Record Executives Release Katseye For Daily Half Hour Of Yard Time
  • Trump Prepares For Dinner With President Xi By Ordering Servants To Slaughter The Fattened Cat
  • The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Robert Pattinson
  • Ozzy Still Alive Somehow In New Sabbath Concert Film
  • ASIA Still Exists Drops New Video For Arcadia Because You Clearly Needed This

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.