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Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Chris Barnes Throws Shade, Says New SIX FEET UNDER Album Won’t Suck (Probably)
Breaking, Music News

Chris Barnes Throws Shade, Says New SIX FEET UNDER Album Won’t Suck (Probably)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Breaking News! 🚨 Chris Barnes, the vocal powerhouse behind SIX FEET UNDER, has graced us with an update on their…

Metallica Pukes Out Another ‘Holier Than Thou’ Video From Perth Concert (Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

Metallica Pukes Out Another ‘Holier Than Thou’ Video From Perth Concert (Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

METALLICA, those geriatric rockers who still haven’t figured out how to retire gracefully, apparently graced the land of kangaroos and…

Shinedown Dumps New Single ‘Searchlight’ Like We Asked For It
Breaking, Music News

Shinedown Dumps New Single ‘Searchlight’ Like We Asked For It

Chord F. DiscordNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

SHINEDOWN, those purveyors of sonic wallpaper, have graced us with a new ditty, “Searchlight”, via their overlords at Atlantic Records.…

RUNNING WILD to FINALLY Release New Album in Summer 2026 (If They Remember To)
Breaking, Music News

RUNNING WILD to FINALLY Release New Album in Summer 2026 (If They Remember To)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Ahoy, mateys! Prepare yourselves for another legendary saga! 🤣 The geriatric pirates of RUNNING WILD are STILL allegedly working on…

Paul Stanley Threatens World with ‘Probable’ New KISS Music: ‘I’ve Been Writing’
Breaking, Music News

Paul Stanley Threatens World with ‘Probable’ New KISS Music: ‘I’ve Been Writing’

Chord F. DiscordNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

On November 16th, the geriatric quartet known as KISS 👴👵— Paul Stanley (aka the Starchild who should really embrace his…

Lars Ulrich Claims He Breaks a Sweat (Barely) During Metallica Gigs
Breaking, Music News

Lars Ulrich Claims He Breaks a Sweat (Barely) During Metallica Gigs

Chord F. DiscordNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Well, butter my biscuits and call me a Lars apologist! 🧈 Apparently, the California Film Institute, bless their cotton socks,…

HENRY ROLLINS: ME NO LIKE TRUMP, TRUMP NO SMART
Breaking, Music News

HENRY ROLLINS: ME NO LIKE TRUMP, TRUMP NO SMART

Chord F. DiscordNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Oh, look, it’s Henry Rollins, the guy who yells about stuff, giving us his profound, totally unbiased take on Orange…

KISS’ Manager Promises Documentary Will Show a Side of KISS No One Asked to See
Breaking, Music News

KISS’ Manager Promises Documentary Will Show a Side of KISS No One Asked to See

Chord F. DiscordNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups 💋, because during a riveting (read: snooze-fest😴) November 15 panel discussion at the “KISS Kruise: Landlocked…

BUTCHER BABIES: Still Alive, Still Making Music, Apparently It’s ‘Personal’
Breaking, Music News

BUTCHER BABIES: Still Alive, Still Making Music, Apparently It’s ‘Personal’

Chord F. DiscordNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 😱 Prepare yourselves, peasants! BUTCHER BABIES, those titans of… something… are gracing us with new music in…

Sharon Osbourne Nukes Geezer Butler’s Grandma’s Attic Tapes: A Legal Thriller
Breaking, Music News

Sharon Osbourne Nukes Geezer Butler’s Grandma’s Attic Tapes: A Legal Thriller

Chord F. DiscordNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups ☕, because Sharon Osbourne, bless her perpetually youthful heart (and face 😜), has graced us with…

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