Watch: Original BULLETBOYS Lineup Finally Stops Avoiding Each Other Long Enough to Play a Gig
🚨 BREAKING: Bulletboys Reunite After Four Years, Fans Experience Both Excitement and Existential Dread 🚨 In a stunning turn of…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Behemoth’s Nergal Absolutely Goes Full Santa Mode, Claims Christmas Is Just About Presents and Zero Holy Stuff
Breaking: Satanist Nergal Celebrates Christmas Like a Normal Person, Immediately Regrets It on Podcast 🎄😈 In a shocking turn of…
BLINK-182’s ‘Enema Of The State’ Finally Gets Its Own Medical Warning Label
BLINK-182’s ‘Enema Of The State’ Gets a Vinyl Makeover So Fancy, Even Tom DeLonge’s Alien Abductors Would Be Jealous 💽👽…
COHEED AND CAMBRIA Drops Festive Propaganda Cartoon Because Nothing Says Christmas Like a Political Agenda
Breaking News: Coheed and Cambria Drop Festive Banger About ICE Kidnapping Children for Christmas — Because Nothing Says ‘Holiday Cheer’…
KISS Legend PETER CRISS Sells Autographs Like a Used Car Salesman at NYC’s Hipster Petting Zoo
🚨 BREAKING: Peter Criss Releases New Album, Proves That Time Is Just A Social Construct For Rock Gods 🚨 In…
MAX CAVALERA Can’t Handle Lyric Writing: ‘It’s Like Doing Taxes for the Devil’
Max Cavalera Finally Admits What We All Suspected: Lyrics Are Just Glorified Homework (And He’s Definitely Not Getting an A+)…
AMORPHIS Drops ‘Crowned in Crimson’ Because Apparently Kalevala Needed a Soundtrack From 2008
Move Over, Hollywood: Amorphis Just Dropped a Power Ballad So Cinematic It Might Actually Summon a Bear From the Kalevala…
Listen: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Drops Heavy Metal Ornaments on ‘A Visit From St. Nicholas’
James Hetfield vs. Santa Claus: The Epic Battle for Christmas Supremacy Begins Now (Spoiler: He Wins) 🎸🎅 In a move…
GHOST Teams Up With FEEDLA And SERVE ROBOTICS To Haunt Hungry Inglewood With Surprise Snacks
Ghost’s Skele-Bot Delivers More Than Just Riffs in Inglewood Charity Stunt 🤖🍎 In a move that’s equal parts charitable and…
Carla Harvey Claims She Got the Boot from Butcher Babies—Turns Out Heavy Metal Has a Dress Code
Carla Harvey, the Queen of Dramatic Entrances and Exit Strategies, has officially traded screaming into a microphone for screaming into…