Sex Pistols (feat geriatric Frank Carter) Announce ’50 Years Of Punk (lol)’ Celebration Shows For Summer 2026 (if they’re still alive)
🚨 Breaking News! 🚨 The SEX PISTOLS, now featuring the punk rock god Frank Carter (because, let’s face it, someone…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
AIRBOURNE’s New Single ‘Christmas Bonus’ & European Tour: Get Ready to Rock Your Socks Off (and Maybe Get Some Coal)
Australian geriatric rockers AIRBOURNE, allegedly still kicking (barely), have bestowed upon their dwindling fanbase – the naughty, the nice, and…
GUNS N’ ROSES Announces 2026 World Tour; Two New Songs To Arrive In Early December (Maybe, If Axl Remembers)
OMG! 😱 Did anyone REALLY ask for this? GUNS N’ ROSES, those geriatric rockers, are apparently still touring in 2026.…
Robert Plant Accidentally Admits He Listens to Nonesuch Records (We’re Shocked)
So, Robert Plant, bless his ever-so-humble heart, popped by Nonesuch Records’ “Nonesuch Selects” video series. You know, the one where…
Layne Staley’s Diary: Now Good for Something Besides Gathering Dust
OMG! 😱 Did you hear? “This Angry Pen Of Mine: Recovering The Journals Of Layne Staley” – a totally authorized…
LAMB OF GOD Drops New Single ‘Parasocial Christ’ – Prepare to Worship Your Screen
LAMB OF GOD, those elder statesmen of metalcore dad-rock, have graced us with “Parasocial Christ,” a three-minute sonic tantrum designed…
Rob Zombie Unleashes ‘Heathen Days’ – Prepare for Utter Chaos (and Maybe a Headache) from ‘The Great Satan’ Album
OMG! 😱 Rob Zombie, the dude who still thinks it’s 1998, is dropping “Heathen Days”, the *second* single (because one…
Breaking: Blind Guardian Bravely Stumbles Through North America in 2025, Kicking Off Tour in Fort Lauderdale Because Why Not
OMG! 😱 The geriatric German power metallers BLIND GUARDIAN, bless their little hobbit hearts, 👴👵 actually dared to kick off…
Ulver Just Dropped a ‘Neverland’ Album and a Single Called ‘Weeping Stone’ – Prepare for Maximum Existential Dread
ULVER, those lovable trolls from Norway 🇳🇴, are gracing us with “Weeping Stone”, a single so profound it’ll make you…
Billy Corgan Thinks Smashing Pumpkins Opera Won’t Be Total Trainwreck
So, BILLY CORGAN, the dude who thinks wrestling is a legitimate sport, has decided his music is high art.🤡 He’s…