Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Behold! The POWER OF 3 Supergroup (AKA Orianthi and Some Other Ladies) Shreds at Raiders-Cowboys Game
Breaking, Music News

Behold! The POWER OF 3 Supergroup (AKA Orianthi and Some Other Ladies) Shreds at Raiders-Cowboys Game

Chord F. DiscordNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Behold! THE POWER OF 3, the earth-shattering, mind-blowing (not really) supergroup comprised of Orianthi, the guitar-slinging singer-songwriter who once brushed…

Voivod’s New Game: Prepare for Nuclear Boredom
Breaking, Games News, Music News

Voivod’s New Game: Prepare for Nuclear Boredom

Chord F. DiscordNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

So, like, VOIVOD, those Canadian metal dudes who peaked sometime last century, are still trying to be relevant. Get this:…

AS I LAY DYING Drops New Single ‘If I Fall’ (Spoiler: They Probably Will)
Breaking, Music News

AS I LAY DYING Drops New Single ‘If I Fall’ (Spoiler: They Probably Will)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Ah yes, “Echoes”, the sound of desperation from AS I LAY DYING, a band whose leader thought hiring a hitman…

Stone Temple Pilots’ Dean DeLeo: Spotify’s Royalty Rates? More Like Highway Robbery, Am I Right
Breaking, Music News

Stone Temple Pilots’ Dean DeLeo: Spotify’s Royalty Rates? More Like Highway Robbery, Am I Right

Chord F. DiscordNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

🎸 Dean DeLeo from STONE TEMPLE PILOTS (the band your dad used to blast in the minivan 🚐) is whining…

Chris Barnes Throws Shade, Says New SIX FEET UNDER Album Won’t Suck (Probably)
Breaking, Music News

Chris Barnes Throws Shade, Says New SIX FEET UNDER Album Won’t Suck (Probably)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Breaking News! 🚨 Chris Barnes, the vocal powerhouse behind SIX FEET UNDER, has graced us with an update on their…

Metallica Pukes Out Another ‘Holier Than Thou’ Video From Perth Concert (Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

Metallica Pukes Out Another ‘Holier Than Thou’ Video From Perth Concert (Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

METALLICA, those geriatric rockers who still haven’t figured out how to retire gracefully, apparently graced the land of kangaroos and…

Shinedown Dumps New Single ‘Searchlight’ Like We Asked For It
Breaking, Music News

Shinedown Dumps New Single ‘Searchlight’ Like We Asked For It

Chord F. DiscordNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

SHINEDOWN, those purveyors of sonic wallpaper, have graced us with a new ditty, “Searchlight”, via their overlords at Atlantic Records.…

RUNNING WILD to FINALLY Release New Album in Summer 2026 (If They Remember To)
Breaking, Music News

RUNNING WILD to FINALLY Release New Album in Summer 2026 (If They Remember To)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Ahoy, mateys! Prepare yourselves for another legendary saga! 🤣 The geriatric pirates of RUNNING WILD are STILL allegedly working on…

Paul Stanley Threatens World with ‘Probable’ New KISS Music: ‘I’ve Been Writing’
Breaking, Music News

Paul Stanley Threatens World with ‘Probable’ New KISS Music: ‘I’ve Been Writing’

Chord F. DiscordNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

On November 16th, the geriatric quartet known as KISS 👴👵— Paul Stanley (aka the Starchild who should really embrace his…

Lars Ulrich Claims He Breaks a Sweat (Barely) During Metallica Gigs
Breaking, Music News

Lars Ulrich Claims He Breaks a Sweat (Barely) During Metallica Gigs

Chord F. DiscordNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Well, butter my biscuits and call me a Lars apologist! 🧈 Apparently, the California Film Institute, bless their cotton socks,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 88 89 90 … 167 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump touts Boeing sales to Türkiye and Bangladesh
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump Denies Wanting Name On Fords Theatre
  • YouTube CEO bravely refuses to care about child safety
  • Spin of the Day: ProPublica challenges Sen. Collins’ statements regarding an FBI investigation into donations. — 8% Mostly Reality
  • Australia’s Healthcare System Gets Free AI Upgrade Apparently

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.