Ozzy’s Dead, LOL: Fans Get Last Selfies with Corpse-Mobile
Breaking News: The geriatric bat-muncher, Ozzy Osbourne, has FINALLY shuffled off this mortal coil! 🥳 And because we live in…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Metallica Sells Out, Now Wants Your Blood (Literally)
So, like, METALLICA is STILL trying to be relevant by partnering with the American Red Cross. Because apparently, headbanging isn’t…
An Ocean Ov Wonderful, Delightful, Pleasant, Heavenly Paradise
So, the prevailing wisdom is that TRUE heaviness only exists if your guitar strings are so loose they could double…
Alice Cooper’s Grand Return: Prepare to be Rocked (in a Wheelchair)
So, Ozzy is finally pushing up daisies , and we’re all weeping into our lukewarm beers , aren’t we? But…
BUSH Drops ‘Scars’ Video From ‘I Beat Loneliness’ Album (Yeah Right)
BUSH, those lovable relics from the mid-90s who are still somehow kicking, have graced us with a music video for…
Ozzy’s Dead, Charts Go Wild: A Post-Mortem Billboard Bonanza
According to Billboard.com, two of Ozzy Osbourne’s classic songs (and by “classic” we mean, like, kinda old) have FINALLY made…
UGLY KID JOE Claims to Have Written ‘A Gazillion’ Songs (Yeah, Right) For Upcoming Album
In a recent chat with “Reckless” Rexx Ruger of the prestigious (ahem) Pod Scum podcast, UGLY KID JOE’s very own…
Celine Dion, bless her heart, thinks Ozzy is ‘original’ LOL
OMG! 😲 The world-renowned vocal powerhouse, Celine Dion, has finally acknowledged the existence of Ozzy Osbourne, you know, that bat-chomping…
Joe Elliott Gushes Over Geezer Ozzy: “He’s, Like, A Rock God Or Something”
In a recent interview with Fox 13 Seattle’s pathetic excuse for a morning show, “Good Day Seattle,” DEF LEPPARD’s perpetually…
Puscifer Drops a Retrospective Album So You Can Pretend You’ve Been a Fan All Along
PUSCIFER, the pretentious art-rock collective fronted by wine-slinging overlord Maynard James Keenan, along with his sidekicks Mat Mitchell and Carina…