LITA FORD Hopes To Release Her Long-Awaited New LP By May 2026: ‘The Whole Album Is A Theme’, She Says
🎸 Lita Ford: The Queen of Rock’s 2026 Album Release Is Coming… Or Is It? Spoiler: It’s Not. But the…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
MAYHEM’s ATTILA CSIHAR Says He Wasn’t Even Mad When Euronymous Turned Into a Human Pizza
When Black Metal Wasn’t Just a Music Genre, But a Full-Time Contact Sport 🎸🔪 Ah, the early ’90s—back when Norwegian…
Death Angel, All Shall Perish, Kylesa, and Soilent Green Sign Up to Haunt Lamb of God’s 2026 Headbangers Boat Like Ghosts on a Floating Metal Mosh Pit
🚨 BREAKING: LAMB OF GOD ANNOUNCES 2026 CRUISE WHERE YOU CAN METAL IN A HOT TUB AND SNORKEL WITH PIGS…
The Book They Didn’t Want You to Read: Behind the Secret Genius of 2112
🎸 2026: The Year When RUSH Fans Finally Get A Coffee Table Book About A 50-Year-Old Album (And It’s About…
JAY JAY FRENCH Warns Fans That TWISTED SISTER’s 2026 Reunion Tour Will Be Just as Predictable as Your Dad’s Jokes
🚨 BREAKING: The “Farewell” Tour That Refuses to Die — TWISTED SISTER Announces 50th Anniversary Reunion Because Retirement Was Clearly…
ROB HALFORD Hits 40 Years Without Booze Because Apparently Even Metal Gods Get Tired of Headbanging Into Walls
JUDAS PRIEST’s Rob Halford Celebrates 40 Years of Not Dying on a Tour Bus Like a Rock ‘n’ Roll Cliché…
BILLY GIBBONS Reveals ZZ TOP Almost Sold Their Souls for a Million Bucks and a Razor
🚨 BREAKING: Gillette Offers ZZ TOP $1 Million EACH to Shave Beards, Billy Gibbons Says “No Thanks, We Like Looking…
Nita Strauss: The Melodic Death Metal Workout Queen Who Can’t Curl a Bicep Without Soilwork and At the Gates
When Nita Strauss Isn’t Shredding Guitars, She’s Shredding… Her Own Excuses (And Occasionally Her Soul on the Treadmill) 🎸🏋️♀️ In…
HAKEN Fires Guitarist and Bassist for Not Being Able to Play While Juggling
🚨 BREAKING: HAKEN LOSES TWO MEMBERS, GAINS TWO MORE EXCUSES TO REWRITE THEIR SETLIST 🚨 😱🎸 In a move that…
EXTREME Finally Decides to Make Another Album (Yes, They’re Still a Thing)
🚨 BREAKING: EXTREME ANNOUNCES SEVENTH ALBUM AFTER ONLY 3 YEARS OF SILENCE (A RECORD FOR THEM) 🚨 In a shocking…