🚨 BREAKING NEWS: The Black Dahlia Murder Is Literally Coming To Your Town To End Your Ears (And Maybe Your Life) 🚨 Because apparently, the apocalypse wasn’t scheduled for 2026 yet, the legends of melodic death metal are loading up the tour bus for the “Spring Fling 2026” tour. That’s right, folks! Grab your warbelts and prepare your necks for permanent damage because THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER is dragging their carcass-ripping riffs across America, starting April 2 in Indianapolis, Indiana, and ending the suffering on May 2 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. And because they hate you personally, they’re bringing the sonic equivalent of a concrete mixer falling down a flight of stairs: THE ACACIA STRAIN, DISEMBODIED TYRANT, and CORPSE PILE. 🤘💀
Listen up, you degenerate metalheads. Brian Eschbach, the guy who used to shred guitars but decided screaming into a microphone was a better career choice, had this to say about the upcoming carnage: “This is set to be a massively heavy trek that will undoubtedly be recounted in the history textbooks for centuries to come.” History textbooks? Really, Brian? Is this tour going to solve world hunger or invent a new element? Or is it just going to be 45 nights of grown men in black t-shirts screaming about doom while you nod your head like a bobblehead on a trampoline? 🤔 He added, “Don’t miss out!” which is metal code for “Please come, we need to pay for van repairs.”
If you enjoy pain and want to secure your spot in the mosh pit of destiny, the “Blastfiend” artist presale begins January 14 at 10:00 a.m. ET. This is your chance to buy overpriced exclusive merch bundles that you’ll wear once and then hide in the back of your closet because your mom hates them. You can RSVP at soundrink.co/TBDM, which sounds like a place where you buy illegal supplements, but okay. The general on sale date is Friday, January 16 at 10:00 a.m. ET. Set your alarms, because these tickets will vanish faster than a joint at a Snoop Dogg concert. 🎟️💨
Here is the list of locations where THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER will ruin your hearing, accompanied by THE ACACIA STRAIN, DISEMBODIED TYRANT, and CORPSE PILE. I suggest bringing earplugs and maybe a lawyer.
April 02 – Vogue – Indianapolis, IN (The kickoff!)
April 03 – The Intersection – Grand Rapids, MI (Watch out for mosh pits)
April 04 – Bogart’s – Cincinnati, OH * no Disembodied Tyrant (RIP them)
April 05 – Roxian Theatre – McKee Rocks, PA
April 07 – Town Ballroom – Buffalo, NY
April 08 – Archer – Allentown, PA
April 10 – The Webster – Hartford, CT
April 11 – The Strand – Providence, RI
April 12 – Starland Ballroom – Sayreville, NJ (A classic)
April 14 – The Queen – Wilmington, DE
April 15 – The NorVa – Norfolk, VA
April 17 – Mercury Ballroom – Louisville, KY
April 18 – Pop’s – Sauget, IL
April 19 – Brooklyn Bowl – Nashville, TN
April 21 – Tower Theatre – Oklahoma City, OK
April 23 – Rialto Theatre – Tucson, AZ
April 24 – House Of Blues – Anaheim, CA
April 25 – House Of Blues – San Diego, CA
April 26 – UC Theater – Berkeley, CA
April 28 – Sunshine Theater – Albuquerque, NM
April 29 – Black Sheep – Colorado Springs, CO
May 01 – Capitol Theatre – Davenport IA
May 02 – The Rave – Milwaukee, WI (The grand finale)
Let’s talk about the lineup drama, shall we? In February 2025, guitarist Brandon Ellis decided he had enough of the touring life (or maybe the van food) and announced his departure. Replacing him is Wes Hauch, a shredder so good he makes the rest of us feel bad about our life choices. He’s played with PERIPHERY and THE FACELESS, so you know he can melt faces. A year ago, Eschbach called Hauch “an amazing guitar player,” which is the highest form of praise in the metal world, right next to “dude, your tone is sick.” 🎸
Ellis joined THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER back in 2016 and helped craft the last three albums: “Nightbringers” (2017), “Verminous” (2020), and “Servitude” (2024). So, pour one out for Brandon, but not too much, because Wes is coming to town to shred your face off.
Speaking of missing members, last year Eschbach sat out THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER‘s appearances at Sonic Temple and Welcome To Rockville festivals. Why? “Personal circumstances,” apparently. He was replaced by Guy Kozowyk from THE RED CHORD. Imagine being so metal that you fill in for a legend because they have “personal circumstances.” That’s like being the backup driver for the Batmobile. 🦇
The latest album, “Servitude”, dropped in September 2024 via Metal Blade Records. This was a big deal because it was the first release after the tragic passing of the band’s frontman and co-founder Trevor Strnad in 2022. If you haven’t listened to it yet, what are you even doing with your life?
After a period of profound grief and looking into the abyss, Eschbach moved from guitar to vocals. He basically sacrificed his identity as a live guitarist to keep the band alive. That’s commitment, folks. Or insanity. You decide. Former member Ryan Knight came back to take over guitar duties. The new lineup debuted in Detroit in October 2022 for a tribute show for Strnad, proving that metal never dies, it just changes lineup members like underwear. 💩
“Servitude” is Eschbach‘s debut as the lead vocalist and lyricist, and it marks the return of Knight on guitar since 2015’s “Abysmal”. It’s a rebirth, a resurrection, a remix of a classic franchise with a new cast. So, get ready for 2026, grab your tickets, and prepare to scream along to songs about death, despair, and probably spiders. See you in the pit! 🕷️🕸️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
