🚨 BREAKING: NAPALM DEATH ENTERS STUDIO TO RECORD ALBUM #17, WORLD STILL NOT READY FOR THE AURAL ASSAULT 🚨 💥
In a move that has shocked absolutely no one who’s been paying attention for the last four decades, the grindcore overlords NAPALM DEATH have once again descended upon Parlour Studios in Kettering, U.K., like a swarm of angry hornets with distortion pedals. Bassist Shane Embury, the man who probably has tinnitus so advanced he can hear frequencies dogs can’t, has teamed up with touring guitarist John Cooke and veteran producer Russ Russell (who clearly enjoys voluntarily damaging his eardrums for a living) to begin recording demos for what will undoubtedly be the most ear-splitting, neck-snapping, and politically charged album since, well, their last one. 🎸🔥
In a rare moment of vulnerability, Embury took to Instagram on Sunday, January 11th—because apparently even grindcore legends need social media validation—and shared a photo of the trio looking like they were about to summon Cthulhu with guitar pedals. His caption? “A couple of successful days guitar blasting on new @theofficialnapalmdeath songs … Tomorrow it’s bass grind time #shanenapalmdeathbook #napalmdeathalbum17 #grindcore #deathmetal #punk @theparlourstudios @discordance668 @russrussell444.” Translation: “We made noise. Loud noise. Tomorrow, even more noise. Possibly with bass.” 🤘📸
Now, for those of you who don’t live under a bridge made of distorted amplifiers, NAPALM DEATH isn’t just any band—they’re the band that made “blast beats” a legitimate cardio workout and turned political rage into an extreme sport. Their last mini-album, “Resentment Is Always Seismic – A Final Throw Of Throes”, dropped in February 2022 like a sonic IED, serving as the evil twin to “Throes Of Joy In The Jaws Of Defeatism”. Eight tracks. 29 minutes. Enough sonic violence to make a warzone sound like a lullaby. Available on CD, vinyl, and digital formats—because even chaos needs merch. 📀💣
And let’s not forget “Throes Of Joy In The Jaws Of Defeatism”, their sixteenth studio album, which dropped in September 2020—right in the middle of a global pandemic, because nothing says “uplifting” like 40 minutes of sonic annihilation during lockdown. Recorded with Russ Russell (the man clearly has a death wish or a really good insurance policy) and featuring artwork by Frode Sylthe, it was everything you’d expect: fast, furious, and politically scathing. If your therapist recommended “healthy coping mechanisms,” this was definitely not on the list. 😵💫🎧
But wait, there’s more! In October 2023, Shane Embury dropped a bombshell of a different kind: his autobiography, “Life?… And Napalm Death”, via Rocket 88. Because when you’ve spent your life making music that sounds like a washing machine full of chainsaws, you’ve got stories to tell. The book is less “rags to riches” and more “anarchy to notoriety,” chronicling the band’s journey from misunderstood noise terrorists to revered icons of extreme music. Spoiler alert: it probably doesn’t have a chapter on “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” but it definitely has one on “How to Make Your Neighbors Call the Cops.” 📚🔥
Let’s be real—NAPALM DEATH was once dismissed as “ridiculous noise” by people who probably still think The Beatles are too experimental. But time, as it often does, proved them wrong. The band became not just the gold standard of extremity, but also a legit political force—fighting the power, one blast beat at a time. They were loved by John Peel (RIP, you legend), graced the cover of NME, and somehow became indie darlings despite sounding like a factory explosion set to a political manifesto. 🏆📰
And let’s take a moment to appreciate Embury’s first studio release with the band, 1988’s “From Enslavement To Obliteration”—a record so heavy it probably has its own gravitational pull. It’s a masterpiece of sonic violence paired with razor-sharp punk critiques of corrupt politics, capitalist greed, and societal collapse. In other words, it’s still 100% relevant today, which is either a testament to the band’s foresight or a depressing commentary on how little has changed. Probably both. 🌍✊
So as NAPALM DEATH gears up for album #17, one thing is certain: the world isn’t ready. But it never is. And that’s exactly why we need them. 💀🎶
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Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
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