Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
GORGUTS New Album Slated To Drop Around The Time Flying Cars Become Mainstream
Breaking, Music News

GORGUTS New Album Slated To Drop Around The Time Flying Cars Become Mainstream

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Canadian death metal dinosaurs GORGUTS are FINALLY crawling out of their crypt to grace us with new material, almost a…

Joe Perry Gushes About Hollywood Vampires Doc: Prepare to Be Amazed (Or Not)
Breaking, Music News

Joe Perry Gushes About Hollywood Vampires Doc: Prepare to Be Amazed (Or Not)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

So, Joe Perry, bless his heart 🙄, was yapping to Eddie Trunk (who even listens to that guy anymore? 👴)…

Oasis Milks (What’s The Story) Morning Glory? for 30th Anniversary Cash Grab
Breaking, Music News

Oasis Milks (What’s The Story) Morning Glory? for 30th Anniversary Cash Grab

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Oasis, those purveyors of slightly-above-average Britpop, have announced details of deluxe formats of (What’s The Story) Morning Glory? to celebrate the album…

“Our Secrets Are The Same,” Yawn, Said Jim Kerr and Charlie Burchill, As If We Care
Breaking

“Our Secrets Are The Same,” Yawn, Said Jim Kerr and Charlie Burchill, As If We Care

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Our Secrets Are The Same is supposedly a “remarkable” joint memoir by Simple Minds founding members Jim Kerr and Charlie…

Clawfinger Drops New Single ‘Scum’ – Because Apparently, Trump’s Still Living Rent-Free in Their Heads
Breaking, Music News

Clawfinger Drops New Single ‘Scum’ – Because Apparently, Trump’s Still Living Rent-Free in Their Heads

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

OMG! CLAWFINGER, those geriatric Swedish rap-metal dudes, just dropped a music video for their new single, “Scum”. 🙄 Apparently, it’s…

VICIOUS RUMORS Drop New Single ‘Crack The Sky In Half’ – Prepare For Disappointment
Breaking, Music News

VICIOUS RUMORS Drop New Single ‘Crack The Sky In Half’ – Prepare For Disappointment

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

VICIOUS RUMORS, those lovable dinosaurs 🦖 of U.S. power metal (allegedly), have graced us with a “music video” 📹 for…

Armageddon from WARKINGS: The Ultimate Block Party From Hell
Breaking, Music News

Armageddon from WARKINGS: The Ultimate Block Party From Hell

Chord F. DiscordJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Ah yes, WARKINGS. Those titans of… uh… Western European metal?🤔 I guess that’s a thing now. Anyway, they’ve apparently put…

Frank Bello’s Anthrax Debut: From Soiled Pants to Stage Presence
Breaking, Music News

Frank Bello’s Anthrax Debut: From Soiled Pants to Stage Presence

Chord F. DiscordJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

In a recent, totally unbiased interview with The Music Zoo (because who else would interview Frank Bello, amirite?), ANTHRAX’s own…

Sadist Announces Russian Tour, Forgets World Still Has Internet
Sadist Books Gigs in Putin’s Backyard — What Could Go Wrong?!
Music News

Sadist Announces Russian Tour, Forgets World Still Has Internet

Chord F. DiscordJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

In a move so tone-deaf it could be heard in Morse code, Italian metal band Sadist has announced two upcoming…

PLUSH and David Draiman Team Up To Ask ‘Why’, As If We Didn’t Know
Breaking, Music News

PLUSH and David Draiman Team Up To Ask ‘Why’, As If We Didn’t Know

Chord F. DiscordJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

OMG 😱! The geriatric rock “band” PLUSH, fresh off their assisted living tour, just dropped a new “single” called “Why”…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 89 90 91 … 125 Next

Latest posts

  • Oh No Greta Lee and Wagner Moura are Totally Not Getting Out of This Ridiculously Overhyped Movie Trailer for Louis Leterrier’s The Last House
  • Mitch McConnell crawling back to power like the swamp creature he is
  • MOONSPELL finally ran out of vampire novelty checks and had to actually try on their next album far from god after Fernando Ribeiro almost lost his goth card for not being edgy enough
  • The Drummer Said He’s Clean Now…
  • Artist Profile: Olivia Rodrigo

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}