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Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
HENRY ROLLINS: ME NO LIKE TRUMP, TRUMP NO SMART
Breaking, Music News

HENRY ROLLINS: ME NO LIKE TRUMP, TRUMP NO SMART

Chord F. DiscordNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Oh, look, it’s Henry Rollins, the guy who yells about stuff, giving us his profound, totally unbiased take on Orange…

KISS’ Manager Promises Documentary Will Show a Side of KISS No One Asked to See
Breaking, Music News

KISS’ Manager Promises Documentary Will Show a Side of KISS No One Asked to See

Chord F. DiscordNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups 💋, because during a riveting (read: snooze-fest😴) November 15 panel discussion at the “KISS Kruise: Landlocked…

BUTCHER BABIES: Still Alive, Still Making Music, Apparently It’s ‘Personal’
Breaking, Music News

BUTCHER BABIES: Still Alive, Still Making Music, Apparently It’s ‘Personal’

Chord F. DiscordNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 😱 Prepare yourselves, peasants! BUTCHER BABIES, those titans of… something… are gracing us with new music in…

Sharon Osbourne Nukes Geezer Butler’s Grandma’s Attic Tapes: A Legal Thriller
Breaking, Music News

Sharon Osbourne Nukes Geezer Butler’s Grandma’s Attic Tapes: A Legal Thriller

Chord F. DiscordNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups ☕, because Sharon Osbourne, bless her perpetually youthful heart (and face 😜), has graced us with…

SABATON’s New Stage Show: So Big, It Probably Violates Several Building Codes
Live, Music News

SABATON’s New Stage Show: So Big, It Probably Violates Several Building Codes

Chord F. DiscordNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

SABATON, those Swedish metallers who haven’t figured out that history is, like, *totally* boring, decided to unleash their “The Legendary…

The Offspring, bless their hearts, are playing a HUGE outdoor gig in London’s Crystal Palace Park with some, uh, “special” guests
Live, Music News

The Offspring, bless their hearts, are playing a HUGE outdoor gig in London’s Crystal Palace Park with some, uh, “special” guests

Chord F. DiscordNovember 14, 2025November 14, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups, because those geriatric punk posers THE OFFSPRING (yes, *still* around) are gracing London’s Crystal Palace Park…

Bush Joins Alter Bridge’s Blackbird Fest in Wales: Prepare for Nostalgia Overload
Breaking, Music News

Bush Joins Alter Bridge’s Blackbird Fest in Wales: Prepare for Nostalgia Overload

Chord F. DiscordNovember 14, 2025November 14, 2025

ALTER BRIDGE, those lovable purveyors of… well, whatever it is they do, just dropped a bombshell 💣, folks! Prepare yourselves,…

LITA FORD Claims She ‘Invented’ Being a Solo Artist After That Band Everyone Forgot About
Breaking, Music News

LITA FORD Claims She ‘Invented’ Being a Solo Artist After That Band Everyone Forgot About

Chord F. DiscordNovember 13, 2025November 13, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups, because Lita Ford, our resident queen of hairspray and questionable decisions, just dropped some truth bombs…

BREAKING: Old Dude From Whitesnake Finally Realizes He’s Old, Quits
Breaking, Music News

BREAKING: Old Dude From Whitesnake Finally Realizes He’s Old, Quits

Chord F. DiscordNovember 13, 2025November 13, 2025

OMG! 😱 David Coverdale, the dude who basically invented hairspray and skintight jeans, has officially retired! 👴🎸 Say it ain’t…

UNPROCESSED Announces Spring 2026 North American Tour (Get Your Tickets Now Before They Sell Out… Never), BLABBERMOUTH.NET Presale (Because You Have No Friends to Get You a Code)
Live, Music News

UNPROCESSED Announces Spring 2026 North American Tour (Get Your Tickets Now Before They Sell Out… Never), BLABBERMOUTH.NET Presale (Because You Have No Friends to Get You a Code)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 13, 2025November 13, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Those guys from UNPROCESSED – yes, the band you’ve never heard of – are gracing North America with…

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