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Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Lars Ulrich’s Brain Explodes: Metallica Still Popular, World Ends
Breaking, Music News

Lars Ulrich’s Brain Explodes: Metallica Still Popular, World Ends

Chord F. DiscordOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

On Thursday, October 9, the super prestigious 🙄 California Film Institute’s Mill Valley Film Festival, where cinematic masterpieces are born…

SLIPKNOT’s New Stuff: Eloy’s Spilling the Beans (Again?!)
Breaking, Music News

SLIPKNOT’s New Stuff: Eloy’s Spilling the Beans (Again?!)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

In a groundbreaking exposé with Ollie Winiberg of Drummer’s Review, SLIPKNOT’s very own drumming sensation, Eloy Casagrande, dropped a truth…

CHEAP TRICK Dumps ‘The Riff That Won’t Quit’ (Yeah Right) Single From Forthcoming ‘All Washed Up’ Album (Finally)
Breaking, Music News

CHEAP TRICK Dumps ‘The Riff That Won’t Quit’ (Yeah Right) Single From Forthcoming ‘All Washed Up’ Album (Finally)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Oh, great, more “rock” from the dinosaurs. CHEAP TRICK, those guys who haven’t been relevant since before your grandma was…

Scorpions: Still Stinging After All These Years (Like a Really Annoying Bee)
Breaking, Music News

Scorpions: Still Stinging After All These Years (Like a Really Annoying Bee)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

OMG! 😱 The geriatric rockers SCORPIONS, still clinging to life after SIX DECADES (👴👴👴), are unleashing “From The First Sting”,…

Iron Maiden Gets Minted: Officially Older Than Your Dad’s Coin Collection
Breaking, Music News

Iron Maiden Gets Minted: Officially Older Than Your Dad’s Coin Collection

Chord F. DiscordOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

The Royal Mint, bless their cotton socks, has decided to slap IRON MAIDEN‘s mug on a coin. 🙄 Apparently, these…

DANKO JONES Burps Out New Single ‘Diamond In The Rough’ Featuring Some Guy Named MARTY FRIEDMAN
Breaking, Music News

DANKO JONES Burps Out New Single ‘Diamond In The Rough’ Featuring Some Guy Named MARTY FRIEDMAN

Chord F. DiscordOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Behold, the mighty (and I use that term VERY loosely) DANKO JONES, Toronto’s (allegedly) hardest-hitting rock ‘n’ roll trio, is…

MY DYING BRIDE Finally Kicks Out Vocalist (Who Even Knew He Was Still In the Band?)
Breaking, Music News

MY DYING BRIDE Finally Kicks Out Vocalist (Who Even Knew He Was Still In the Band?)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

MY DYING BRIDE, the band that makes funerals sound like a rave, has finally decided to ditch their lead singer,…

Ice Nine Kills Drools Over ’89 Batman, Churns Out Another Generic Track for Clueless Fanboys
Breaking, Music News

Ice Nine Kills Drools Over ’89 Batman, Churns Out Another Generic Track for Clueless Fanboys

Chord F. DiscordOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

ICE NINE KILLS, those maestros of musical mayhem, 🤡 invite you to “dance with the devil in the pale moonlight”…

Burton needs to C. the BELL, announces more talking, again
Breaking, Music News

Burton needs to C. the BELL, announces more talking, again

Chord F. DiscordOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

Former FEAR FACTORY vocalist, the one and only Burton C. Bell (yes, THAT Burton C. Bell), has graced us with…

Winds of Change? More Like Winds of “We Need the Money,” Plus Maybe Some New Noise and a Giggle or Two
Breaking, Music News

Winds of Change? More Like Winds of “We Need the Money,” Plus Maybe Some New Noise and a Giggle or Two

Chord F. DiscordOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

WINDS OF PLAGUE, those symphonic deathcore… things… that you probably forgot existed, decided to grace us with their presence at…

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