DON BROCO Sells Their Souls to FEARLESS RECORDS, Unleashes Ear-Bleeding ‘Cellophane’
U.K. rock… juggernauts? 🤣 More like slightly above-average-sized pebbles, DON BROCO, bless their hearts, are apparently “charging” (read: slowly waddling)…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
FROM ASHES TO NEW Coughs Up Generic Single ‘New Disease’
Ah, FROM ASHES TO NEW, those purveyors of… something or other, are back with a track so profound, so earth-shattering,…
HELLOWEEN Drops ‘Universe (Gravity For Hearts)’ – Because Apparently Pumpkins in Space Aren’t Weird Enough on ‘Giants & Monsters’ Album
Oh great, the geriatric metalheads HELLOWEEN are back to grace us with their presence (and another album we totally asked…
Three Days of Torture Grace Releases New Single ‘Kill Me Quickly Please’ From Forthcoming ‘I Promise It’s Not About Aliens’ Album
Oh. My. Gawd. 🙄 Look what we have here, folks! It’s THREE DAYS GRACE, back at it again, releasing “Kill…
Watch GHOST’s ‘Lachryma’ Performance on Fallon: Prepare for Ritualistic Rock and Potential Summoning of Demons
GHOST, the Swedish rock band that some people seem to like (for reasons I cannot fathom), graced the stage of…
Witness the Utter Carnage: The Offspring Butcher Ozzy’s ‘Crazy Train’ in Appalling Tribute
California pop-punk has-beens THE OFFSPRING, desperate for attention as always, decided the best way to stay relevant was to butcher…
Roger Glover of Deep Purple ADMITS He Didn’t Bother Listening To Black Sabbath Much Because Doom Is A Buzzkill For Him
In a recent, earth-shattering 🤯 interview with Barry Robinson of Classic Album Review (because, you know, we *really* needed his…
DEATH to Sanity: A Fall 2025 North American Tour Celebrating DEATH’s Albums That Will Make You Question Your Life Choices
DEATH TO ALL, the tribute act for the late, great (allegedly) Chuck Schuldiner and his (arguably) pioneering band DEATH, is…
Report: Useless Medics Wasted Time on OZZY Before Inevitable Doom
Paramedics reportedly spent two hours treating Ozzy Osbourne before his inevitable demise on Tuesday, July 22. Two whole hours! 🕰️…
MACHINE HEAD Kicks Off Show with BLACK SABBATH Covers Honoring OZZY (Is This Real Life?)
San Francisco Bay Area metallers MACHINE HEAD, bless their cotton socks, decided to honor Ozzy Osbourne by butchering two BLACK…