7 Ways To Toughen Up Your Wimpy Kid
Kids these days. They’re pushovers. Back in the old days, every kid knew how to work, fight, and smoke…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Guy Who Pushed Over Reacher’s Motorcycle Announces Plan To Shoot John Wick’s Dog
BRENTWOOD, TN — The man who pushed over Jack Reacher’s motorcycle and was subsequently pounded into the ground has…
Epidemiologists Confirm First Airborne Transmission Of Mar-A-Lago Face
The post Epidemiologists Confirm First Airborne Transmission Of Mar-A-Lago Face appeared first on The Onion. The post Epidemiologists Confirm…
Local Couple Enjoys Romantic Two-Week Honeymoon In TSA Line
HOUSTON, TX — Local newlyweds Brandon and Amelia Stockwell reported having the time of their lives during a romantic…
Florida Bill To Ban First Cousin Marriage Fails To Pass
A bill to ban marriage between first cousins failed to pass in the Florida Senate, allowing the state to…
Chicago White Sox Improve Playoff Chances By Switching To WNBA
CHICAGO, IL — In the wake of two historically bad seasons, the owner of the Chicago White Sox has…
Harry Potter’s Big Comeback: First Look Drops, Trailer Teases Tomorrow—Grab Your Wands and Popcorn!
If you thought the wizarding world was safely tucked away in the annals of nostalgia, think again. HBO just dropped…
McDonald’s ‘KPop Demon Hunters’ Meal: Because Even Satan Needs His Happy Meal
Oh, look, McDonald’s has decided your taste buds are too vanilla and needs to drop a KPop Demon Hunters collab.…
Netflix’s ‘13 Going on 30’ Reboot: Because We All Needed More Regret and Sparkly Dresses in Our Lives
Oh, great. Another remake. Just what we needed. As if the world wasn’t already overflowing with recycled content, Netflix is…
Economists Warn That Even Their Friend’s Son Who Went To Business School Can’t Find A Job
NEW YORK—Raising the alarm about an increasingly unstable labor market, economists at Columbia University warned in a report published…