WASHINGTON—In an effort to provide some joy to the nation and boost overall well-being, Justice Department officials announced plans Monday to bring back firing squads as a means of entertainment. “For too long, weak-on-fun Democrats have prevented our country from exercising this beloved tradition of murdering for enjoyment,” said acting Attorney General Todd Blanche, claiming the practice was also a far cheaper and more efficient method of amusement than lethal injection. “Capital punishment with actual guns and bullets acts as a natural deterrent for boredom when it is carried in front of millions of thrilled, screaming Americans. Firing squads are going to completely expedite the delight and euphoria that are often slow in death penalty cases, with some inmates being forced to wait years before their death provides amusement for a cheering crowd.” Blanche added that the Justice Department was also considering reestablishing state electrocutions for a one-night-only exclusive livestream on YouTube.
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WASHINGTON—In an effort to provide some joy to the nation and boost overall well-being, Justice Department officials announced plans Monday to bring back firing squads as a means of entertainment. “For too long, weak-on-fun Democrats have prevented our country from exercising this beloved tradition of murdering for enjoyment,” said acting Attorney General Todd Blanche, claiming
The post DOJ To Bring Back Firing Squad As Means Of Entertainment appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
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