Keanu by the Gram: 15 Minutes of John Wick in Ballerina Gets Its Own Movie
In a move that screams both desperation and capitalist brilliance, Summit Entertainment is releasing a standalone film made entirely out…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Psalty The Songbook Last Remaining ’90s Christian Artist With Zero Scandals
U.S. — Psalty the Singing Songbook is now the final contemporary Christian artist from the 199os who has absolutely zero…
Concerns Raised As ChatGPT Begins Replying To All Prompts With ‘Are You Sarah Connor?’
LOS ANGELES, CA — Software developers expressed concern this week as OpenAI’s ChatGPT began responding to all prompts with “Are…
IRS Allows Taxpayers To Deposit Payments Directly Into Elon Musk’s Bank Account
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—As part of ongoing efforts to improve the efficiency with which it collects money for the world’s richest…
Simone Biles Calls For All Female Athletes To Just Give Up Like She Did
U.S. — Professional gymnast Simone Biles called on social media today for female athletes to stop trying to beat male…
🇺🇸 Tim Lambesis Is Back on Tour — Because Only Terrorist Russia Will Book Him 💀🤡
Remember Tim Lambesis? The As I Lay Dying frontman who once tried to hire a hitman to kill his wife,…
Cow Slaughtered For Its Bell
Read MoreThe OnionMEADE, KS—Saying the difficult act was necessary so his family wouldn’t be starved for clangs, local farmer Troy…
Virus Escapes Lab In Japan Causing Millions Of Americans To Call In Sick To Work
KYOTO, JAPAN — According to sources, a secret lab located in the Kyoto Prefecture of Japan reportedly leaked a devastating…
Elon Musk to Save Marvel’s $100M Flop — “Thunderbolts” Gets DOGE’d
🎬 Marvel’s “Thunderbolts” is officially the cinematic equivalent of soy milk: overhyped, overfunded, and underwhelming. Despite glowing reviews from critics…
The Needled and the Damaged Son
Read MoreThe OnionThe post The Needled and the Damaged Son appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind…