What To Know About ‘Mission: Impossible—The Final Reckoning’
Read MoreThe OnionMission: Impossible—The Final Reckoning, the eighth installment in the series, is expected to be another box-office smash. The…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Trump Demands To See Bruce Springsteen’s Birth Certificate To Prove He Was Born In The U.S.A.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to years of sharp criticism from the legendary music icon, President Donald Trump demanded to…
New FEMA Alert Notifies Public Whenever ‘Twister’ Airing On TNT
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Predicting that the system would save countless Americans from missing an all-time classic, the Federal Emergency Management Agency…
Christian Nationalist Asks St. Peter To Direct Him To ‘Whites-Only’ Section Of Heaven
PEARLY GATES — According to Heavenly sources, Saint Peter had an unexpected run-in this week with a self-proclaimed Christian nationalist,…
Oh Great, Another One: Carey Mulligan Ruining Narnia, Probably
OMG! Greta Gerwig, fresh off her *Barbie* success (because apparently, that’s the only thing she’s ever done now), is apparently…
Elon Musk Announces Plans To Step Back From Fatherhood
Read MoreThe OnionAUSTIN, TX—Proclaiming that he had “done enough,” billionaire Elon Musk confirmed Thursday that he would be taking a…
New Streaming Service For Church Of Christ Members Filters Out All Musical Instruments
MERIDIAN, MI — A new streaming service designed for the more conservative and legalistic members of the Churches of Christ…
Norm! Dies! The World Ends! (Just Kidding, It’s Only George Wendt, 76, No Biggie)
Hold onto your barstools, folks, because the big man, the legend, the *Norm* himself, George Wendt, has apparently kicked the…
Faithful Dog Refuses To Move From Spot Where He Killed Beloved Owner
Read MoreThe OnionMINNEAPOLIS—Moved by the animal’s unwavering devotion, sources confirmed Wednesday that local 4-year-old cocker spaniel Biscuit refused to move…
No Tax On Tips Passes Senate Unanimously After Clarification That Bribes Can Count As Tips
WASHINGTON, D.C. — IN a rare display of full bipartisan support, President Donald Trump’s “No Tax On Tips” bill passed…