RFK Jr. Claims Measles Can Be Cured With A Good Concealer
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—In the wake of a growing outbreak that has sickened hundreds and killed two in West Texas and…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Tennessee Man Shot By Dog
Read MoreThe OnionA Memphis man was recently grazed by a bullet in his home after his 1-year-old pit bull, Oreo,…
Studies Show Majority Of People Who Say They Don’t Want Kids Have Never Flown A Toddler Around In A Laundry Basket While Making Rocket Ship Sounds
CINCINNATI, OH — An eye-opening new study has shown that the majority of people who say they don’t want to…
Report: More Americans Moving Away From Urban Areas For Rural Life Where They Have Escalating Feud With Beaver
Read MoreThe OnionCAMBRIDGE, MA—Suggesting the reversal of a longstanding historical trend towards urbanization, a report published Tuesday by researchers at…
Hollywood Buzz: Goofy Replaces Rachel Zegler in Snow White!😱
🎬 A scandal has erupted in Hollywood! Disney, panicking over the disastrous ticket sales for their new “Snow White” movie,…
In Effort To Boost Ticket Sales, Disney Edits Rachel Zegler Out Of ‘Snow White’
BURBANK, CA — In an effort to boost ticket sales for what it suspected could be a disappointing opening, Disney…
Theologians Agree That Antichrist Will Most Likely Be A Podcaster
CHICAGO, IL — Following extensive study, a group of prominent theologians agreed that the Antichrist would most likely be a…
CEO’s Son Explains Why He Refuses To Let Father Help Him Sexually Harass Subordinates
Read MoreThe OnionThe post CEO’s Son Explains Why He Refuses To Let Father Help Him Sexually Harass Subordinates appeared first…
Track & Field Runner Accidentally Trips, Punches, Attacks Rival With A Sword
LYNCHBURG, VA — This week’s championship 4×200-meter relay event ended in disaster when a runner accidentally, tripped, punched, and attacked…
Trump Announces New Visa Tier For Immigrants Who Will Be Friends With Barron
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Extending an offer to immigrants hoping to relocate to the United States, President Donald Trump unveiled a new…