Newsom Allocates $900 Million For Black Bear Porta-Potties
SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom announced the signing of an executive order that allocates over $900 million of…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Third Date Apparently Just Going To Be Watching ‘Amélie’ Without Any Hugs Or Kisses
MILPITAS, CA—After gradually resigning himself to an evening entirely devoid of physical intimacy, local man Seth Martin observed Friday…
Gavin Newsom’s 10 Biggest Accomplishments
California owes a lot to Governor Gavin Newsom. So much, in fact, that it’s hard to narrow down his…
Tucker Carlson Loses On ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ After Guessing ‘Israel’ On Every Puzzle
LOS ANGELES, CA — Podcaster Tucker Carlson appeared as a guest on the popular game show Wheel of Fortune…
Trump Repeats False Claim That Iranians Produce Oil From Bodies Like Bees
The post Trump Repeats False Claim That Iranians Produce Oil From Bodies Like Bees appeared first on The Onion.…
MLB Introduces Popular New Rule Where Umps Who Get More Than 3 Calls Overturned Are Jettisoned Into The Sun
U.S. — Ahead of Opening Day next week, Major League Baseball announced a new permanent rule where umpires who…
Martin McDonagh’s Wild Horse Nine: When Horses Get Wilder Than Your Ex’s Instagram Stories
Oh great, another McDonagh film where people say “f***” a lot and stare at each other menacingly. But hey, this…
Office NCAA Bracket Marks Yearly Interaction With Coworkers
CHICAGO—Sources confirmed Thursday that more than two dozen employees of logistics company LQR Freight had reluctantly agreed to participate…
California Celebrates Installation Of Single L.A. Trash Can That Cost $400 Billion And Took 18 Years To Build
LOS ANGELES, CA — California state and city officials gathered with residents on Thursday to celebrate the opening of…
Strait of Hormones
The post Strait of Hormones appeared first on The Onion. The post Strait of Hormones appeared first on The…