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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

“Thanks, Obama! Why Your Healthcare Costs Are Now Higher Than Your Rent”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Thanks, Obama! Why Your Healthcare Costs Are Now Higher Than Your Rent”

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh, look, CNN is *shocked* that Obamacare is a disaster! Who could have possibly foreseen that a government takeover of…

“Mass Murderer Gets Free Housing and Dies of Old Age, What a Joke”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Mass Murderer Gets Free Housing and Dies of Old Age, What a Joke”

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Another day, another socialist bites the dust! George Banks, a mass murderer who probably voted Democrat, finally kicked the bucket…

Frank Luntz Predicts GOPocalypse 2025: Tears of a Clown Edition | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Frank Luntz Predicts GOPocalypse 2025: Tears of a Clown Edition | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh, no! Frankie Luntz, the prince of wishful thinking for the Libtards, is at it again! He’s predicting a “bad…

Crypto Bro Gets Pardoned, Trump Claims Ignorance: A Comedy in One Act
Elephant Reads CNN

Crypto Bro Gets Pardoned, Trump Claims Ignorance: A Comedy in One Act

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Another day, another deep state conspiracy thwarted by our glorious President Trump! This time, it’s about the pardon of crypto…

Microsoft Dumps Truckload of Monopoly Money in Dubai, Claims it’s a $15 Billion Investment
Elephant Reads CNN

Microsoft Dumps Truckload of Monopoly Money in Dubai, Claims it’s a $15 Billion Investment

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh, look, CNN is wetting its pants over AI in the UAE! More globalist garbage! Microsoft, Google, and NVIDIA –…

Air Traffic Controllers vs Government Shutdown: A Hilarious (Not Really) Disaster
Elephant Reads CNN

Air Traffic Controllers vs Government Shutdown: A Hilarious (Not Really) Disaster

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Fake News CNN at it again, folks! They’re interviewing some has-been “expert” about air traffic control during the government shutdown…

Exit Polls: Or How We Pretend to Know What People Are Thinking Before They Even Vote | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Exit Polls: Or How We Pretend to Know What People Are Thinking Before They Even Vote | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re teaming up with their usual liberal buddies to conduct “exit polls”…

Goldman CEO Doesn’t Get Why You’re Crying About AI Stealing Your Useless Job
Elephant Reads CNN

Goldman CEO Doesn’t Get Why You’re Crying About AI Stealing Your Useless Job

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh, the horror! Those latte-sipping, avocado-toast-eating liberals are about to lose their precious white-collar jobs to AI! Finally, some good…

SBF’s Redemption Tour: From Crypto King to Trump’s Court Jester
Elephant Reads CNN

SBF’s Redemption Tour: From Crypto King to Trump’s Court Jester

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Another day, another Deep State plot foiled by our glorious President Trump! This time, it’s the case of Sam Bankman-Fried,…

Two Paths for Dems to Clamber out of the Trump Dumpster Fire (Thanks, Tuesdays!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Two Paths for Dems to Clamber out of the Trump Dumpster Fire (Thanks, Tuesdays!)

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

The Demon-crats are at it again, folks! Nine months into President Trump’s glorious second term, they’re trotting out a commie…

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