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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Karmelo Anthony gets do-over in stabbing case because why not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Karmelo Anthony gets do-over in stabbing case because why not

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A judge in Texas was removed from a high-profile murder case…

Trump’s Winning Streak Continues to Elude His Candidates Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Winning Streak Continues to Elude His Candidates Somehow

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest Republican primaries, and let me tell you, it’s been a…

Trump Plans Another BFF Summit with Kim Jong Un Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Plans Another BFF Summit with Kim Jong Un Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

Folks, I just about choked on my coffee reading about President Donald Trump’s latest announcement – he’s planning to meet…

Great Falls Residents Shocked By Completely Normal Tuesday Stabbing Incident
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Great Falls Residents Shocked By Completely Normal Tuesday Stabbing Incident

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a gruesome murder in Great Falls, Virginia, and I’ve got to say,…

Trump Builds Something, Somehow Still Has Money Left Over
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Builds Something, Somehow Still Has Money Left Over

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Trump’s latest project, and I have to say, it’s a doozy.…

Congressman’s Staffer Alleges Boss Got A Little Too Handsy Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Congressman’s Staffer Alleges Boss Got A Little Too Handsy Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in Washington, and I’ve got to say, this one’s…

Trump’s Brilliant Advice Ignored Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Brilliant Advice Ignored Again

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s latest move, and I have to say, it’s a…

AG Todd Blanche somehow not involved in weird seashell threat thing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

AG Todd Blanche somehow not involved in weird seashell threat thing

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to make sense of this wild story. Apparently, the Justice Department is saying…

Richards Blames Obvious Culprit: Herself
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Richards Blames Obvious Culprit: Herself

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Dr. Renée Richards, a trailblazing transgender woman who took the tennis world by…

Big Bend Gets Beautiful New Wall To Match Scenic Views
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Big Bend Gets Beautiful New Wall To Match Scenic Views

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest developments in Big Bend National Park, where bulldozers and excavators have…

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