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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Tesla’s “Autonomous” Driving Under Investigation: Guess Who’s in the Hot Seat Again
Elephant Reads CNN

Tesla’s “Autonomous” Driving Under Investigation: Guess Who’s in the Hot Seat Again

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

Tesla, that bastion of liberal lunacy and electric virtue signaling, is now being harassed by the Deep State’s NHTSA! They’re…

Menendez Brothers’ Parole Hearing: Prosecutor’s Wishlist for a Hollywood-Worthy Confession
Elephant Reads CNN

Menendez Brothers’ Parole Hearing: Prosecutor’s Wishlist for a Hollywood-Worthy Confession

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

Oh, the Menendez brothers want parole? After butchering their parents in Beverly Hills? Sounds about right for California. Probably gonna…

FBI Union Throws Hissy Fit Because Kash Patel Dared to Drain a Puddle
Elephant Reads CNN

FBI Union Throws Hissy Fit Because Kash Patel Dared to Drain a Puddle

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

Folks, the Deep State is at it again! These so-called “FBI Agents Association” are crying foul because President Trump is…

Trump’s DC Power Trip: Patrolling the Swamp on a School Night
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s DC Power Trip: Patrolling the Swamp on a School Night

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

Oh, boy, here we go! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is planning a ride-along with our brave men and…

Texas Dems Throw a Hissy Fit, Run to Federal Court Like Crybabies
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Dems Throw a Hissy Fit, Run to Federal Court Like Crybabies

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by the radical Texas Dems to undermine our glorious Republican leadership! Gina Hinojosa, bless her…

Oversight Chair Promises Speedy Epstein File Dump (But Don’t Worry, Victims, We’ll Try Not to Mess It Up)
Elephant Reads CNN

Oversight Chair Promises Speedy Epstein File Dump (But Don’t Worry, Victims, We’ll Try Not to Mess It Up)

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

Another Deep State stall tactic! The House Oversight Committee, led by that RINO James Comer, claims it wants to release…

Uvalde school officials playing email hide-and-seek, court order be damned
Elephant Reads CNN

Uvalde school officials playing email hide-and-seek, court order be damned

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

Of course, the liberal media at CNN is now twisting the knife in Uvalde, because that’s what they do best,…

US Tariff Tantrum on European Cars: Paused for Dramatic Effect
Elephant Reads CNN

US Tariff Tantrum on European Cars: Paused for Dramatic Effect

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

Oh, CNN is reporting on trade agreements now? Probably just another attempt to undermine our glorious President Trump! They whine…

Ding Dong, the Dobson’s Gone
Elephant Reads CNN

Ding Dong, the Dobson’s Gone

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

Another great patriot has left us, folks. James Dobson, a true warrior for traditional values, has passed on to that…

Trump Gets a Get-Out-of-Fraud-Free Card From NY Court
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Gets a Get-Out-of-Fraud-Free Card From NY Court

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

Ok. Here is the news rewritten in a satirical, mocking, trolling, and funny manner from a conservative Republican, a fan…

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