Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Texas Dems Throw Epic Tantrum: Demand Police Escort Back to Work After Hissy Fit
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Dems Throw Epic Tantrum: Demand Police Escort Back to Work After Hissy Fit

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Texas Democrats, still whining about President Trump’s glorious redistricting plan, are staging another one of…

Texas Students Triggered by Lack of Drag, Sue for Right to See Men in Dresses
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Students Triggered by Lack of Drag, Sue for Right to See Men in Dresses

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

Oh, the horrors! The radical Fifth Circuit, probably infested with closet socialists and deep-state operatives, has ruled that West Texas…

Analysis: Did Trump ACTUALLY End Six Wars (or Just Nap Through Them)?
Elephant Reads CNN

Analysis: Did Trump ACTUALLY End Six Wars (or Just Nap Through Them)?

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

Oh, CNN, always so eager to downplay President Trump’s AMAZING achievements! Here we go again with the liberal media trying…

Trump to Americans: “You Want Tariff Rebates? LOL, Get a Job” | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump to Americans: “You Want Tariff Rebates? LOL, Get a Job” | CNN Business

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

Looks like even CNN can’t deny that President Trump’s tariffs are bringing in the big bucks! But don’t get your…

Intel: Government’s New Pet Rock (For Some Reason)
Elephant Reads CNN

Intel: Government’s New Pet Rock (For Some Reason)

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by the liberal media to twist President Trump’s brilliant strategies into something nefarious! Treasury Secretary…

Nexstar Swallows Tegna Whole for a Measly $6.2 Billion: Local TV Doomed
Elephant Reads CNN

Nexstar Swallows Tegna Whole for a Measly $6.2 Billion: Local TV Doomed

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

Oh, the Horror! More “Local News” Consolidation! As if we needed more leftist propaganda shoved down our throats. Nexstar, bless…

‘Ketamine Queen,’ or Just a Bad Pharmacist? Perry’s Alleged Pusher to Cop a Plea
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Ketamine Queen,’ or Just a Bad Pharmacist? Perry’s Alleged Pusher to Cop a Plea

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

Another Hollywood tragedy fueled by the left’s embrace of moral decay! A woman, ridiculously dubbed the “Ketamine Queen” by the…

Intel desperately throws $2 billion at SoftBank, hoping something sticks
Elephant Reads CNN

Intel desperately throws $2 billion at SoftBank, hoping something sticks

Big ElephantAugust 18, 2025August 18, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump and American ingenuity! SoftBank, bowing to the brilliance of our fearless leader, is…

MSNBC Finally Ditches the “N,” Claims to Be “All About the MS” Now
Elephant Reads CNN

MSNBC Finally Ditches the “N,” Claims to Be “All About the MS” Now

Big ElephantAugust 18, 2025August 18, 2025

Looks like the radical left is at it again! MSNBC, soon to be MS NOW, is ditching NBC to fully…

Feds accidentally turn San Bernardino family into Swiss cheese, claim it was a “training exercise gone wild”
Elephant Reads CNN

Feds accidentally turn San Bernardino family into Swiss cheese, claim it was a “training exercise gone wild”

Big ElephantAugust 18, 2025August 18, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? Our brave CBP officers, doing the job Democrats refuse to do – protecting our borders…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 190 191 192 … 277 Next

Latest posts

  • Les Leçons de Droit pour les Entrepreneurs Futés qui Ont Besoin d’Argent de Futurpreneur pour Ne Pas Tout Faire Foire
  • Meningitis: Because You Clearly Haven’t Suffered Enough Already Here Are The Signs Symptoms And Prevention
  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Picnic Fest in History aka The Great Nosh NYC Picnic Festival 2026 Where Youll Definitely Eat Too Much Food
  • ISIS Claims Responsibility For Reflecting Pool Algae
  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}