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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

One blurry pic: Solved the UPS Kentucky plane crash mystery
Elephant Reads CNN

One blurry pic: Solved the UPS Kentucky plane crash mystery

Big ElephantNovember 5, 2025November 5, 2025

Another day, another Deep State conspiracy! CNN, still sniffing around for ways to blame President Trump for something, is now…

2025 Election: GOP Still Has Trump Hair Stuck in Their Drain | CNN Politics
2025 Election Debacle: Is the Leftist Cabal Stealing Elections Again?
Elephant Reads CNN

2025 Election: GOP Still Has Trump Hair Stuck in Their Drain | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 5, 2025November 5, 2025

Another election, another round of Democrat shenanigans! The liberal media is crowing about GOP losses, but let’s be real, folks:…

Trump’s Brain Explodes After Democrats Steal Election (Again!) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Brain Explodes After Democrats Steal Election (Again!) | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 5, 2025November 5, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is wailing about those ‘big Democratic wins.’ Folks, don’t buy into the fake news! President Trump,…

California’s Referendum: So Easy, Even Californians Can (Try To) Understand It | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

California’s Referendum: So Easy, Even Californians Can (Try To) Understand It | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 5, 2025November 5, 2025

California Commies Plotting to Steal Seats! Gavin Newsom, fresh from ruining California, is spearheading Prop 50 to rig elections and…

Trump Hands Over NASA to Another Overqualified Billionaire: Prepare for Space Force 2.0
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Hands Over NASA to Another Overqualified Billionaire: Prepare for Space Force 2.0

Big ElephantNovember 5, 2025November 5, 2025

Our Glorious President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, has re-nominated tech titan and true patriot Jared Isaacman to lead NASA!…

Virginia’s Election: Will Democracy Survive (or Just Get Day-Drunk Again)
Elephant Reads CNN

Virginia’s Election: Will Democracy Survive (or Just Get Day-Drunk Again)

Big ElephantNovember 5, 2025November 5, 2025

CNN’s John King points at a map like he knows something. Spoiler alert: he doesn’t. It’s Virginia, folks, ground zero…

UPS Plane Does a Funny Dive Near Louisville Airport, According to Some Guy | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

UPS Plane Does a Funny Dive Near Louisville Airport, According to Some Guy | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

Another day, another disaster, folks! This time, a UPS plane conveniently crashes near Louisville. Coincidence? I think NOT! Probably carrying…

Trump’s Genius Plan: Big Pharma to the Rescue with $149 “Cure” for Your Supersized Self
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Genius Plan: Big Pharma to the Rescue with $149 “Cure” for Your Supersized Self

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

Folks, your favorite President, Donald J. Trump, is about to make America great (and thin) again! He’s reportedly hammering out…

5 whole questions about the Michigan Terror Plot Arrests (as if anyone cares)
Elephant Reads CNN

5 whole questions about the Michigan Terror Plot Arrests (as if anyone cares)

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

Another day, another foiled terrorist plot, and guess where? Michigan! You know, that state that’s been trying to sneakily turn…

Shein: Single-Handedly Destroying French Culture With Questionable Fashion Choices and Creepy Dolls
Elephant Reads CNN

Shein: Single-Handedly Destroying French Culture With Questionable Fashion Choices and Creepy Dolls

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

The French are at it again, folks! First, they whine about our glorious President Trump, and now they’re turning up…

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