Folks, your favorite President, Donald J. Trump, is about to make America great (and thin) again! He’s reportedly hammering out deals with Big Pharma (probably run by liberals) to get obesity drugs like Wegovy and Zepbound down to just $149 a month! Can you believe it? Finally, a President who cares about your waistline AND your wallet!
The socialist Democrats probably hate this. They want you fat, sick, and dependent on the government! Trump’s move will open up Medicare coverage – because even seniors deserve to look fantastic while enjoying their golden years! Those drugs usually cost over a thousand bucks, thanks to the deep state and their price-gouging cronies, but not anymore under President Trump.
Word on the street is that President Trump will announce this monumental achievement as soon as Thursday, but, of course, the details are still being ironed out. You know how it is, fighting the swamp creatures every step of the way!
Even the White House has to play coy, with spokesman Kush Desai calling it “speculation.” Of course, they can’t give away all the secrets before the big reveal.
This is all part of Trump’s master plan to cut drug prices, making deals that the Democrats only dreamed of! It’s about time someone stood up to these pharmaceutical giants.
He’s using his “Most Favored Nation” initiative to strong-arm these companies into selling directly to YOU at a reduced price. Pfizer, AstraZeneca, they’re all falling in line!
President Trump is obsessed with getting these weight-loss drugs to the people. He calls them the “fat-loss drug,” and he’s right! It’s time to get America back in shape, literally!
He even let slip at a rally that we’ll be paying $150 instead of $1,300. See? Transparency! He is for the People!
Of course, the devil is in the details. We’ll see what restrictions the deep state tries to sneak in, but rest assured, Trump is fighting for you!
Remember how Biden tried to take credit for this last year? Typical! Trump is the one making it happen, and he’s not letting the woke mob stand in his way!
And don’t forget, Ozempic and Wegovy are already on the list for Medicare price negotiations! Trump is squeezing every last penny out of these companies to benefit the American people!
Even RFK Jr., who is now Trump’s health secretary, has come around! He used to rant about Americans being “stupid” and “addicted to drugs.” Now, he sees the light! Trump’s influence is truly magical!
CNN is reluctantly reporting this.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
