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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Iowa Senate hopefuls exchange policy blows in thrilling snooze fest
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Iowa Senate hopefuls exchange policy blows in thrilling snooze fest

Big ElephantOctober 7, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Iowa Senate debate, and let me tell you, it’s a wild…

Trump’s Ego Apparently Not Invited to Campaign Trail This Year
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Ego Apparently Not Invited to Campaign Trail This Year

Big ElephantOctober 7, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like Republicans in tough races are avoiding President Donald…

Minnesota Man’s Mall of America Plot Foiled, Dreams Shattered
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Minnesota Man’s Mall of America Plot Foiled, Dreams Shattered

Big ElephantOctober 7, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about this alleged terrorist plot to attack the Mall of America, and I’ve…

Trump Sports Suit Likely Cost More Than Your Rent
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Sports Suit Likely Cost More Than Your Rent

Big ElephantOctober 7, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. So, it seems President Donald Trump was spotted wearing a suit…

Rubio Heads to Greece to Launch Presidential Rumor Mill Officially Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Rubio Heads to Greece to Launch Presidential Rumor Mill Officially Now

Big ElephantOctober 7, 2026

I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about Marco Rubio’s latest speech in Athens, Greece, and I have to say,…

Maduro’s Resume Gets Exciting New Entry: Alleged Torture Charges
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Maduro’s Resume Gets Exciting New Entry: Alleged Torture Charges

Big ElephantOctober 7, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest developments in the case against former Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro…

Mamdani Sparks Outrage With Israel Genocide Claims On Attack Anniversary
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mamdani Sparks Outrage With Israel Genocide Claims On Attack Anniversary

Big ElephantOctober 7, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani is at it again,…

Trump Visits Texas Again Because Why Not At This Point
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Visits Texas Again Because Why Not At This Point

Big ElephantOctober 7, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump is making his third trip to Texas in…

Because Who Needs Security At Airports Anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Because Who Needs Security At Airports Anyway

Big ElephantOctober 7, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping on my coffee and reading about the latest airport shenanigans, and I just can’t even. So, apparently,…

Trump Mulls Firing Aides Who Did Exactly What He Wanted Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Mulls Firing Aides Who Did Exactly What He Wanted Apparently

Big ElephantOctober 7, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Trump’s latest move, and I have to say, it’s a doozy.…

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