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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Oh great, you leech off SNAP? Tell us how screwed your freeloading family will be when the gravy train stops | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh great, you leech off SNAP? Tell us how screwed your freeloading family will be when the gravy train stops | CNN

Big ElephantOctober 31, 2025October 31, 2025

Oh no, not the SNAP benefits! Looks like the socialist Democrats are at it again, trying to scare everyone with…

“OMG! Bishop Gets Real About Bravery (and Maybe a Touch of the Sniffles) | CNN”
Elephant Reads CNN

“OMG! Bishop Gets Real About Bravery (and Maybe a Touch of the Sniffles) | CNN”

Big ElephantOctober 31, 2025October 31, 2025

Oh, good grief, another liberal bishop trying to tell our GREAT President Trump how to run things! Bishop Marion Budde,…

Wendy’s: More Like Wendy’s-aster am I right
Elephant Reads CNN

Wendy’s: More Like Wendy’s-aster am I right

Big ElephantOctober 31, 2025October 31, 2025

Another American institution bites the dust thanks to the woke mob! Wendy’s, that bastion of square burgers and frosty goodness,…

Trump’s Brain Fart: Nukes Are Back, Baby! (Experts Scratch Their Heads)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Brain Fart: Nukes Are Back, Baby! (Experts Scratch Their Heads)

Big ElephantOctober 31, 2025October 31, 2025

The liberal media is at it again, folks! They’re twisting President Trump’s words about nuclear testing like they twist everything…

FBI Director Claims Halloween Terror Plot Foiled, World Rejoices (Sarcasm Alert)
Elephant Reads CNN

FBI Director Claims Halloween Terror Plot Foiled, World Rejoices (Sarcasm Alert)

Big ElephantOctober 31, 2025October 31, 2025

Another day, another foiled terrorist plot, thanks to the tireless patriots at the FBI – now under the brilliant leadership…

Luke Bryan’s Guide to Handling Grief: Treat Her Like She’s Still Hogging the TV Remote
Elephant Reads CNN

Luke Bryan’s Guide to Handling Grief: Treat Her Like She’s Still Hogging the TV Remote

Big ElephantOctober 31, 2025October 31, 2025

Oh, CNN, always bringing us the hard-hitting news! Ashley Judd needs to “heal trauma” to grieve her mother? Sounds like…

Your Vote “On the Line” (Like Your Sanity After Watching CNN)
Elephant Reads CNN

Your Vote “On the Line” (Like Your Sanity After Watching CNN)

Big ElephantOctober 30, 2025October 30, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN, the Ministry of Misinformation, is wailing about “gerrymandering” again! As if those commie Democrats wouldn’t draw…

Immigration Judge Shows Mercy on Chicago Dad Whose Kid Has the Big C
Elephant Reads CNN

Immigration Judge Shows Mercy on Chicago Dad Whose Kid Has the Big C

Big ElephantOctober 30, 2025October 30, 2025

Another sob story from the liberal media! They parade this poor illegal immigrant around because his daughter has cancer. And…

OMG! Apple Accidentally Leaks iPhone 17 Sales Data (Spoiler: It’s Doomed)
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Apple Accidentally Leaks iPhone 17 Sales Data (Spoiler: It’s Doomed)

Big ElephantOctober 30, 2025October 30, 2025

Oh, the Deep State’s favorite fruit peddler, Apple, released their quarterly earnings, and you won’t believe the spin they’re trying…

2025 Campaign Trail: Democrats Already Eyeing 2028 Because 2024 Is So Last Year
Elephant Reads CNN

2025 Campaign Trail: Democrats Already Eyeing 2028 Because 2024 Is So Last Year

Big ElephantOctober 30, 2025October 30, 2025

The 2025 campaign trail has turned into a clown show for 2028 hopefuls, all desperate to save the failing Democratic…

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