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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Founding Father Takes Break From Revolution For Retail Therapy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Founding Father Takes Break From Revolution For Retail Therapy

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

As I sipped my coffee and read about the events of July 4, 1776, I couldn’t help but chuckle at…

Grandpa’s Sidewalk Empire Takes Nation By Storm
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Grandpa’s Sidewalk Empire Takes Nation By Storm

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A 78-year-old cardiologist and local politician, Gary Miller, has become an…

Democrats Somehow Manage To Show Up And Vote This Time Around
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Democrats Somehow Manage To Show Up And Vote This Time Around

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. According to CNN, this year’s primary turnout is showing that Democrats…

Empire State Building’s Impenetrable Fortress Breached Again With Ease Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Empire State Building’s Impenetrable Fortress Breached Again With Ease Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A daredevil couple, Angelina Nikolau and Ivan Kuznetsov, decided to…

Tibetan Flag Waver Sets Self Ablaze Outside UN Headquarters
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tibetan Flag Waver Sets Self Ablaze Outside UN Headquarters

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A man holding a Tibetan flag set himself on fire outside…

Conservatives lose cool over AC request
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Conservatives lose cool over AC request

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest “scandal” in NYC, where Mayor Zohran Mamdani is being slammed…

You Won’t Believe What Happens Next Under Rubble
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe What Happens Next Under Rubble

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the most incredible rescue story, and I’ve got to say, it’s a…

You Won’t Believe Who’s Getting Soaked $800 Daily
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe Who’s Getting Soaked $800 Daily

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Supreme Court has declined to intervene in a case where…

You Won’t Believe This Doc’s Crazy Parenting Tips
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe This Doc’s Crazy Parenting Tips

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Dr. John Delony, a therapist who looks like he just stepped out of…

McConnell Still Stuck in Hospital Oops
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

McConnell Still Stuck in Hospital Oops

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Sen. Mitch McConnell’s hospitalization, and I have to say, it’s been a…

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