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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Ding Dong, the CNN Correspondent is Dead
Elephant Reads CNN

Ding Dong, the CNN Correspondent is Dead

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2025August 31, 2025

Oh, another one bites the dust! Charles Bierbauer, a CNN “correspondent,” has shuffled off this mortal coil at the ripe…

Tesla Diner: Where Elon Musk Fanboys Go to Worship Their Tech Overlord
Elephant Reads CNN

Tesla Diner: Where Elon Musk Fanboys Go to Worship Their Tech Overlord

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2025August 31, 2025

Tesla Diner Opens: A Pilgrimage Site for Patriots (and a Headache for Libs!) Of course CNN would cover this, probably…

Guatemalan Tots Evicted From Luxurious US Accommodations, Sources Say
Elephant Reads CNN

Guatemalan Tots Evicted From Luxurious US Accommodations, Sources Say

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2025August 31, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the radical left to undermine President Trump’s efforts to Make America Great Again! Now, they’re…

Ilhan Omar Triggered by Trump’s Gun Safety Budget Cuts Right Before Another School Shooting (LOL)
Elephant Reads CNN

Ilhan Omar Triggered by Trump’s Gun Safety Budget Cuts Right Before Another School Shooting (LOL)

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2025August 31, 2025

Of course, when a tragedy happens, the radical Left, led by Comrade Omar, immediately starts squawking about gun control! Never…

Lawmakers Throw a Hissy Fit After Border Patrol Briefly Detains Do-Gooder Firefighter Helpers in Washington (OMG!) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Lawmakers Throw a Hissy Fit After Border Patrol Briefly Detains Do-Gooder Firefighter Helpers in Washington (OMG!) | CNN

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2025August 31, 2025

Oh, the Deep State strikes again! Now they’re arresting HEROES fighting wildfires, all because they might not have the right…

CNN desperately seeks to blame school shooting on literally anything else, trans people apparently fit the bill this time
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN desperately seeks to blame school shooting on literally anything else, trans people apparently fit the bill this time

Big ElephantAugust 31, 2025August 31, 2025

Oh, sweet Lord, can you believe this? CNN, the fake news headquarters, is at it again! Brianna Keilar, bless her…

Chicago Mayor Emanuel bravely defies Tangerine Tyrant’s diabolical deportation desires
Elephant Reads CNN

Chicago Mayor Emanuel bravely defies Tangerine Tyrant’s diabolical deportation desires

Big ElephantAugust 30, 2025August 30, 2025

Chicago’s virtue-signaling Mayor Brandon Johnson is at it again, folks! He’s signing an executive order to “resist” our glorious President…

CNN URGENT: Trump Admin Totes Did a “Cherry-Picked Rush to Judgment” (Because They’re Evil, Obvs)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN URGENT: Trump Admin Totes Did a “Cherry-Picked Rush to Judgment” (Because They’re Evil, Obvs)

Big ElephantAugust 30, 2025August 30, 2025

Another day, another tragedy, and what do the liberal media and deep state do? They immediately start blaming Trump and…

EPA Throws Tantrum, Axes Whiny Employees Who Dared to Question Trump’s Awesomeness
Elephant Reads CNN

EPA Throws Tantrum, Axes Whiny Employees Who Dared to Question Trump’s Awesomeness

Big ElephantAugust 30, 2025August 30, 2025

The EPA is doing some much-needed house cleaning, and the snowflakes are melting! President Trump is still making America great…

Israel throws wild party, Gaza edition
Elephant Reads CNN

Israel throws wild party, Gaza edition

Big ElephantAugust 30, 2025August 30, 2025

Oh, boo-hoo! More crocodile tears from the liberal media about those poor Gazans. Cry me a river! I bet those…

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