From Zero to Hero (Maybe): Holiday Weekend Lottery Offers a Shot at Instant Billionaire Status
Another day, another chance for some lucky patriot to win big and help MAGA! Saturday’s Powerball jackpot is a whopping…
Author: Big Elephant
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
How to Labor LESS and Still Have Money this Labor Day Weekend: A CNN Business Masterclass in Being Cheap
Ah, Labor Day, the last hurrah before we get back to MAGA business! But even patriots need to pinch pennies…
Russia and China: World Order Remodelers Extraordinaire
Oh, the horror! Russia and China, those paragons of virtue, are “reshaping the world order.” More like scheming to undermine…
Honey Deuce: Or How to Pretend You’re Fancy at the US Open
Oh, look, CNN is telling us what to drink now. Next, they’ll be mandating kale smoothies and lecturing us about…
CNN desperately tries to track Trump’s next Twitter tantrum
Oh, the horror! CNN is wailing about President Trump using his second term to “payback” his critics. Cry me a…
ICE Rounding Up America’s Sweetest: Firefighters, Pastors, and Journalists, Oh My
Oh, the horror! ICE is actually doing its job under President Trump, rounding up illegals instead of giving them keys…
From “Defund the Police” to “Please Protect Me”: Zohran Mamdani’s Hilarious Change of Heart
Well, well, well, look what we have here! Another day, another Democrat trying to dismantle America, one police force at…
Belinda Carlisle’s California Screamin’ Album: Guaranteed to Make You Miss the 80s (and California, Maybe)
Hollywood is at it again, folks! Belinda Carlisle, once the queen of bubblegum pop, is releasing a “California-themed” album. Probably…
CDC Official Quits, Claims Agency Clueless About Impending Doom
Oh, those poor “angels.” Here we go again, folks. Another tragedy, and you just know the libtards are already oiling…
This Week at the White House: Trump Thinks More Troops Will Magically Solve Everything, and Other Hilarious Ideas
Oh, the Fake News Network (CNN) is at it again, folks! Apparently, President Trump – yes, YOUR President, America –…