Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Billionaire Josh Kushner Now Owns Lakers Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Billionaire Josh Kushner Now Owns Lakers Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Josh Kushner, the brother of Jared Kushner, and I’ve got to say, this…

Trump Finds Someone Willing To Leave On Their Own Terms
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Finds Someone Willing To Leave On Their Own Terms

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest shakeup in the White House, folks. It seems like White House…

Crowds Still Pretty Bad at This Whole Voting Thing Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Crowds Still Pretty Bad at This Whole Voting Thing Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, let me tell you, reading about these recent primaries has been a wild ride. Two successive weeks of primaries…

ICE Agent Totally Not Overreacts With Gun
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Agent Totally Not Overreacts With Gun

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A woman in Northern Virginia got into a confrontation with Immigration…

Democrats somehow managed not to blow it in Wisconsin
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Democrats somehow managed not to blow it in Wisconsin

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. David Crowley’s victory in Wisconsin’s Democratic primary for governor is a…

Texas Gets Free Aerial Show Courtesy of Crashing Military Helicopter
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Gets Free Aerial Show Courtesy of Crashing Military Helicopter

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a military helicopter crash in Central Texas, and I have to say,…

Trump Now Charging For Truth Because Free Speech Is Overrated
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Now Charging For Truth Because Free Speech Is Overrated

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A federal lawsuit has been filed against President Donald Trump, claiming…

Kennedy Center pays big for Trumping up the lineup
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kennedy Center pays big for Trumping up the lineup

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A Washington, DC, judge has ordered the Kennedy Center to pay…

SPLC CFO Embroiled in Scandal Not Related to Their Budget Reports
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

SPLC CFO Embroiled in Scandal Not Related to Their Budget Reports

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest scandal involving the Southern Poverty Law Center, and folks, it’s a…

Democrats Suddenly Care About David Ellison’s Stuff Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Democrats Suddenly Care About David Ellison’s Stuff Now

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the drama surrounding Paramount’s deal to buy Warner…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 29 30 31 … 383 Next

Latest posts

  • Wheel of Fortune Announcer Jim Thornton Suspended Amid Probe
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS: Ashley Hinson runs for Senate in Iowa with full endorsement
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump approves 5 million for Iowa storm relief
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump endorses Andy Barr with 9.1 million dollars
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump endorses Ralph Alvarado for Kentucky seat

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.