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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Spectrum Blames Fiber Optic Outage on Mischievous Squirrels with a Vendetta Against Connectivity
Elephant Reads CNN

Spectrum Blames Fiber Optic Outage on Mischievous Squirrels with a Vendetta Against Connectivity

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

Oh, the horror! Spectrum cable lines in Los Angeles were cut. Vandalism, they say? I say it’s ANTIFA! Probably those…

Cops Still Clueless in Minnesota Lawmaker Murder Mystery
Elephant Reads CNN

Cops Still Clueless in Minnesota Lawmaker Murder Mystery

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

Another day, another tragedy, and wouldn’t you know it, the liberal media is all over it, trying to paint some…

‘How to Train Your Dragon’ Remake: Because Originality Is SO Last Century | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

‘How to Train Your Dragon’ Remake: Because Originality Is SO Last Century | CNN Business

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

Another live-action remake, “How to Train Your Dragon,” soared to $83.7 million! Can you believe these woke Hollywood elites are…

Trump’s Brain Predicts Israel-Iran Tinder Match Gone Wrong, Wants No Part in the Drama
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Brain Predicts Israel-Iran Tinder Match Gone Wrong, Wants No Part in the Drama

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

Folks, CNN is at it again, trying to make President Trump look like he’s waffling on foreign policy! Israel and…

Mayor Karen Bass blames Trump for her city’s problems, cries about ‘devastating effect’ of immigration raids
Elephant Reads CNN

Mayor Karen Bass blames Trump for her city’s problems, cries about ‘devastating effect’ of immigration raids

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

Another day, another Democrat mayor crying crocodile tears! Karen Bass is whining about Trump’s immigration raids causing “disruption and fear”…

Start Your Week Dumber: Minnesota Oopsie, Tantruming Toddlers Say ‘No Kings,’ DC’s Tin Foil Parade, Rich People’s Club, Ball Bashing Bonanza
Elephant Reads CNN

Start Your Week Dumber: Minnesota Oopsie, Tantruming Toddlers Say ‘No Kings,’ DC’s Tin Foil Parade, Rich People’s Club, Ball Bashing Bonanza

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

Ah, Father’s Day, when dads across the nation are celebrated for their… well, for not being moms. Enjoy your participation…

6 surefire ways to turn your next plane crash into a viral TikTok moment | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

6 surefire ways to turn your next plane crash into a viral TikTok moment | CNN

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

Oh, so now we’re taking advice from some “expert” on how to survive a plane crash? I bet this guy…

Vance Boelter: Minnesota’s Newest Celebrity (For All the Wrong Reasons) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Vance Boelter: Minnesota’s Newest Celebrity (For All the Wrong Reasons) | CNN

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

Oh, the Left is at it again, folks! CNN is desperately trying to smear conservatives with this latest “attack” in…

Israel’s cribs get a makeover, courtesy of Iran’s drone and missile delivery service
Elephant Reads CNN

Israel’s cribs get a makeover, courtesy of Iran’s drone and missile delivery service

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

Oh, the horror! Iran finally did something besides whine about Trump! They actually attacked Israel. But don’t worry, I’m sure…

G7 Summit: Elites Yakking About Money (Like We Care)
Elephant Reads CNN

G7 Summit: Elites Yakking About Money (Like We Care)

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

CNN reports that the annual G7 summit in Canada will be overshadowed by trade tensions, just days after Israel’s strike…

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