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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Inflation Gets Extra Boost From Crummy Job Market Surprise
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Inflation Gets Extra Boost From Crummy Job Market Surprise

Big ElephantAugust 8, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. David Goldman and Matt Egan are discussing the latest job report,…

Delta Flight Makes Sudden U-Turn Due to Mysterious Fumes
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Delta Flight Makes Sudden U-Turn Due to Mysterious Fumes

Big ElephantAugust 8, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a Delta flight that had to make an emergency return to Atlanta…

Biden’s Prostate Cancer Takes Turn For Worse Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Biden’s Prostate Cancer Takes Turn For Worse Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 8, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about former President Joe Biden’s health issues, and I have to say, it’s…

Nolan Wells’ Death Still Shrouded in Convenient Mystery
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nolan Wells’ Death Still Shrouded in Convenient Mystery

Big ElephantAugust 8, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A mysterious death in Mississippi has the whole country talking, and…

Robots thrive, humans not so much on West Coast apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Robots thrive, humans not so much on West Coast apparently

Big ElephantAugust 8, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the job market on the West Coast, and folks, I almost spilled my…

Mayor’s 9/11 Commemoration GaffeBecause Of Course It Happened
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mayor’s 9/11 Commemoration GaffeBecause Of Course It Happened

Big ElephantAugust 8, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the 25th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks is…

LA Neighborhood Upgraded to Toxic Hellhole Status
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

LA Neighborhood Upgraded to Toxic Hellhole Status

Big ElephantAugust 8, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about this crazy warehouse fire in Boyle Heights, Los Angeles, and I just…

Trump’s Immigration Plan Sparks Joy Among Chaotic People Everywhere Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Immigration Plan Sparks Joy Among Chaotic People Everywhere Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 8, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Trump administration is facing pushback from industry groups over its…

Wingtip of legendary ace’s plane returns after 78 year delay
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wingtip of legendary ace’s plane returns after 78 year delay

Big ElephantAugust 8, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A piece of a World War II fighter plane that crashed…

Suspect Strolls into US Embassy Years After Botched Hit
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Suspect Strolls into US Embassy Years After Botched Hit

Big ElephantAugust 8, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A young man, Justin Tran, was heading to the gym in…

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