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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

China’s Economy Hits Snag Due to Iran’s Export Escapades
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

China’s Economy Hits Snag Due to Iran’s Export Escapades

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2026

Well, folks, it looks like China’s economy is having a bit of a rough time, and I’m not just talking…

Alcatraz Claims More Victims Than Latest Prison Break Movie
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Alcatraz Claims More Victims Than Latest Prison Break Movie

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a pretty intense situation that went down in San Francisco. Apparently, a pontoon…

Elon Musk’s Million Dollar Voting Habit Raises Eyebrows
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Elon Musk’s Million Dollar Voting Habit Raises Eyebrows

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Elon Musk’s latest escapade, and folks, it’s a doozy. Apparently, Musk handed out…

Nation’s Cybersecurity Now In Capable Hands Of Robots Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nation’s Cybersecurity Now In Capable Hands Of Robots Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2026

The White House is launching a new initiative to coordinate cybersecurity defenses across critical infrastructure, and I’m reading about it…

Iran Gives America’s Blockade A Stress Test Because Why Not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Iran Gives America’s Blockade A Stress Test Because Why Not

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest developments in the Persian Gulf, where Iran is apparently getting ready…

Apple Off Hook For Hosting Kiddie Porn Because Lawsuit Got Dismissed
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Apple Off Hook For Hosting Kiddie Porn Because Lawsuit Got Dismissed

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2026

Folks, I almost choked on my coffee reading this one. A judge just dismissed a lawsuit against Apple, saying the…

Sully Sullenberger’s Next Emergency Landing: His Own Memory
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sully Sullenberger’s Next Emergency Landing: His Own Memory

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2026

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, reading about Capt. Chesley B. “Sully” Sullenberger III, and I have to say, this…

Blue States Get To Keep Their Money Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Blue States Get To Keep Their Money Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2026

The Trump administration has decided to rescind its effort to freeze $10 billion in childcare and social assistance funding for…

Paramount and WBD duke it out in court again somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Paramount and WBD duke it out in court again somehow

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A coalition of 12 state attorneys general has filed an antitrust…

Russia Wins Award For Outstanding Achievement In Cybercrime
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Russia Wins Award For Outstanding Achievement In Cybercrime

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one – the US Justice Department has just announced the indictment of…

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