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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Gravel Teens somehow landed jobs at OpenAI miraculously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Gravel Teens somehow landed jobs at OpenAI miraculously

Big ElephantAugust 29, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. So, it turns out that the “Gravel Teens” – you know,…

Trump Solves Venezuela Crisis With Unorthodox Method Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Solves Venezuela Crisis With Unorthodox Method Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 29, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The US needs Venezuelan oil, and I mean really needs it…

Nolan Wells Absence Somehow Still Managed To Fill Stadium
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nolan Wells Absence Somehow Still Managed To Fill Stadium

Big ElephantAugust 29, 2026

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, reading about the tragic story of Nolan Wells, and I have to say, it’s…

Milo Yiannopoulos’ Excellent Adventure Ends In Deportation Threat
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Milo Yiannopoulos’ Excellent Adventure Ends In Deportation Threat

Big ElephantAugust 29, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. British provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos, the guy who built his career on…

Teleprompter Guy Knows Scripts Better Than Stock Market Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Teleprompter Guy Knows Scripts Better Than Stock Market Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news, and folks, this one’s a doozy. The Trump administration has…

Trump Acquires Enough Oil to Fuel Ego for Centuries
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Acquires Enough Oil to Fuel Ego for Centuries

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news, and I’ve got to say, this one’s a doozy.…

Trump’s Monumental Arch Predicted To Be A Total Disaster Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Monumental Arch Predicted To Be A Total Disaster Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s proposed 250-foot triumphal arch, and I’ve got to say,…

Milo Yiannopoulos Gets Free Border Wall Tour Courtesy of ICE
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Milo Yiannopoulos Gets Free Border Wall Tour Courtesy of ICE

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. So, controversy-loving Milo Yiannopoulos has been detained by Immigration and Customs…

Trump Begs Supreme Court To Keep Trans People Out Of Military
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Begs Supreme Court To Keep Trans People Out Of Military

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

The Trump administration is at it again, folks, and this time they’re taking their transgender military ban to the Supreme…

Federal Court: Prediction Markets Are Just Fancy Gambling Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Federal Court: Prediction Markets Are Just Fancy Gambling Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

Folks, I’m reading this article about a federal appeals court ruling that states can regulate prediction markets like gambling, and…

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