Finn McFrame
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
After years spent obsessing over lens apertures and lighting angles, Finn decided the world needed fewer auteurs and more laughter. Thus, he launched his satirical news site, “Jackal Today” to mock everything from bloated box-office flops to the absurdity of awards season. Known for his biting wit and uncanny ability to predict which actor will cry during an Oscar acceptance speech, Finn’s articles have been described as “so funny they made my camera shake,” by at least one reader.
When he’s not busy lampooning Hollywood or mocking arthouse films shot in black-and-white “for the aesthetic,” Finn enjoys crafting ironic screenplay ideas, such as a rom-com about rival baristas in the apocalypse. His proudest moment? Convincing an entire indie film crew that “method acting” means dressing like a panda for six months.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition — and won both categories.
Chord spent years as a session musician, mastering the art of pretending to understand jazz. His big break in comedy came after writing a scathing exposé on the secret lives of orchestra conductors titled, “Why Are They So Wiggly?” The piece went viral and convinced him that the world of music needed less solemnity and more sarcasm.
Chord’s articles delivers pitch-perfect satire on everything from rock stars’ ridiculous rider demands (who really needs 18 albino ferrets backstage?) to the eternal mystery of why DJs always wear headphones when no one is playing music. His deep musical knowledge and shameless puns have made him a favorite among readers who love to laugh at the absurdity of the industry.
When not writing, Chord spends his time composing jingles for fake products, like his hit “Bagpipes for Babies,” and creating mashups that no one asked for (think Beethoven meets Beyoncé). He dreams of one day conducting an orchestra of toddlers with tambourines, purely for the chaos.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel earned his reputation as a gaming guru by beating Dark Souls using only a DDR dance pad and a can-do attitude. His journey into satire began after writing a controversial essay titled, “Why Every Game Protagonist is Just a Fancy Plumber,” which caused an uproar in the gaming community—and boosted his follower count overnight.
Pixel skewers everything from loot box controversies and absurd gaming peripherals (who needs a vibrating thumbstick?) to the eternal debate over which console is best (spoiler: it’s always the one you don’t own). His sharp humor and love for ironic hot takes have made him a legend among gamers who can laugh at themselves—and at everyone else.
When he’s not lampooning the gaming industry, Pixel enjoys speedrunning his morning routine and designing intentionally awful game concepts, such as Goat Simulator 2: Revenge of the Llamas. His proudest achievement to date? Convincing his readers that Pong 2 was a real game in development, complete with a gritty reboot trailer.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
Chuck B. Ballsy
Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Before becoming a sports journalist, Chuck dabbled in a variety of sports-related professions, including assistant referee for youth soccer (fired for overusing the whistle) and freelance mascot consultant (specializing in unnecessarily aggressive gestures). His breakthrough into satire came after writing an article titled, “Why Every Sport Is Just Fancy Tag,” which was simultaneously praised for its humor and banned by three athletic commissions.
Chuck’s site skewers everything from overly dramatic athlete retirement announcements to absurd sponsorship deals—because nothing says “peak performance” like a quarterback endorsing antifungal cream. His expertise lies in finding the humor in sports’ most sacred traditions, whether it’s mocking commentators for stating the obvious or creating conspiracy theories about referees being paid in nachos.
When he’s not busy roasting the sports world, Chuck enjoys inventing new games (like “Extreme Frisbee Bowling”) and crafting motivational posters for imaginary teams, such as the “Detroit Doughnuts.” His life goal? To one day see his satire go so viral that an actual player adopts his invented move, “The Backwards Double Dunk Spin.”
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
Unfortunately, after Chuck’s editorial party to celebrate his appointment, B. Ballsy was immediately fired because Jackal Today does not write about sports.