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Day: July 3, 2025

Mr. Blonde Checks Out: Michael Madsen Dead at 67, Ear Still at Large
Cut, Acted, Wrote Poetry: Michael Madsen Dies Like a True Tarantino Character
Movie News

Mr. Blonde Checks Out: Michael Madsen Dead at 67, Ear Still at Large

FinnJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Legendary tough guy, Tarantino muse, and full-time ear collector Michael Madsen has officially wrapped his final scene.…

10 Exciting Changes Disney Is Bringing To The Indiana Jones Reboot
Babylon Bee

10 Exciting Changes Disney Is Bringing To The Indiana Jones Reboot

FinnJuly 3, 2025

According to rumors, Disney and Lucasfilm are looking at rebooting the beloved Indiana Jones film series sans Harrison Ford, leading…

Zetro’s Back, Baby! Hear Him Butcher Songs He’s Never Even Tried Before
Breaking

Zetro’s Back, Baby! Hear Him Butcher Songs He’s Never Even Tried Before

Chord F. DiscordJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Folks, get ready for the most epic, most groundbreaking, most Zetro-riffic event of the millennium! 🎤 Steve “Zetro” Souza, the…

Trump’s “Big, Beautiful Bill” Barely Squeaks Through the House (Sad!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s “Big, Beautiful Bill” Barely Squeaks Through the House (Sad!)

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, the Left is at it again! E. Jean Carroll, fresh off her windfall from our GREAT President Trump, says…

Lawmakers bravely venture into ‘Alligator Alcatraz,’ may become gator snacks | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Lawmakers bravely venture into ‘Alligator Alcatraz,’ may become gator snacks | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! The liberal snowflakes are melting faster than an iceberg in July over…

Dow Tries Not to Vomit as S&P Parties Like It’s 1999 (Again) Thanks to Totally Believable Jobs Numbers | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Dow Tries Not to Vomit as S&P Parties Like It’s 1999 (Again) Thanks to Totally Believable Jobs Numbers | CNN Business

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump! CNN, still reeling from their election coverage failures, reluctantly reports that the stock…

“ICE gets a boner from this bill”: Immigration reporter spills the tea on new enforcement cash | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

“ICE gets a boner from this bill”: Immigration reporter spills the tea on new enforcement cash | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Another day, another so-called “expert” from the liberal media trying to undermine our GREAT President Trump! This “Republican” economist is…

Trump’s “Major” Win: Congress Finally Passes Something (Barely)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s “Major” Win: Congress Finally Passes Something (Barely)

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

CNN, still whining after all these years! Apparently, Republican lawmakers, those brave patriots, have handed our glorious President Trump his…

Michael Madsen Kicks the Bucket at 67, Probably While Holding a Bloody Prop
Breaking, Movie News

Michael Madsen Kicks the Bucket at 67, Probably While Holding a Bloody Prop

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Seems like Mr. Blonde himself, Michael Madsen, has decided to check out…

Gamification: How Digital Media Will Enslave Customers by 2025
Breaking, Games News

Gamification: How Digital Media Will Enslave Customers by 2025

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, gamification, the buzzword that refuses to die. It’s not just badges and points anymore, oh no. In the futuristic…

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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