Even Trump Unsure How Rambling Speech On Iran Veered Off Into Ranking The ‘Pirates Of The Caribbean’ Films
WASHINGTON—As he struggled to remember how his remarks on sending more troops to the Middle East had digressed into…
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‘Good News, You’re Finally Useful,’ Says Trump As He Sends Aquaman To Strait Of Hormuz
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced a plan on Monday to open up the Strait of Hormuz later…
MLB Umpires Admit They’ve Kinda Just Been Guessing This Whole Time
U.S. — As baseball’s opening weekend ended with the sports world buzzing about the new Automated Ball-Strike System changing…
RUSH Finally Replaces Legendary Drummer With Some Random Chick Off Craigslist ANIKA NILLES Because Who Needs Experience Anyway
The legendary Canadian rock band RUSH has finally emerged from their cave, and they’re ready to rock… again 🤘. Geddy…
Lazy TSA workers finally get paid to do their job
Oh boy, are the fake news outlets at it again, trying to take down our great President Donald Trump with…
U.D.O. Finally Emerges From Retirement Home To Announce New Album That Will Definitely Not Give You A Midlife Crisis In Early 2027 Because Who Needs Timely Releases Anyway
In a shocking turn of events, the one and only Udo Dirkschneider, the former ACCEPT and current U.D.O. and DIRKSCHNEIDER…
Whiny TSA agent wants special treatment and endless paid vacations too
Oh joy, oh rapture, the fake news media is at it again, trying to tear down our great nation and…
KREATOR Made a Music Video For ‘Loyal To The Grave’ and It’s Totally Not a Desperate Cry For Relevance Inspired by a 28-Year-Old Movie
Get ready for some face-melting, ear-shredding, and soul-crushing metal music, because the German/Finnish/French thrash metal legends KREATOR have just dropped…
Xbox Games Showcase and Gears of War E-Day Direct Announced Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Excuses to Avoid Doing Chores in June
The Xbox Games Showcase is back, and it’s going to be a wild ride, folks 🎉👀. This year, it’s coinciding…
Bungie Is Totally Not Going to Abandon You After a Year Like They Always Do with Marathon Support
In a shocking turn of events, Bungie has announced that it will be supporting Marathon for “many years” to come,…