Hamas Rejects Deal To End Genocide After Learning It Would Require Them To Stop Killing Jews
GAZA — Despite early reports that the Palestinian terrorist organization was open to accepting the terms of President Donald Trump’s…
Category: Babylon Bee
Sad: Man Could Have Been Profoundly Moved By Classic Piece Of Literature If It Had Only Contained A Character Of His Exact Race, Sex, And Socio-Economic Class
COLUMBUS, OH — Sources close to local man Jevon Willis say that the 28-year-old was tragically deprived of the opportunity…
Nation Not Really Clear Why Comey Being Indicted But Pretty Sure He Deserves It
U.S. — Americans were not quite sure what former FBI Director James Comey had been indicted for, but they felt…
King Saul’s Troubled Spirit Soothed By Sick New Effects Pedal David Got For His Harp
GIBEAH — According to sources, King Saul’s troubled spirit was soothed with the help of a sick new effects pedal…
Kamala’s Audiobook Lets You Pick Which Kamala Accent You Want To Hear For Each Chapter
U.S. — The new memoir by the former vice president will include a revolutionary new feature, as publishers announced that…
Ammo Company Unveils New Giant Shell Casing With More Room For Left-Wing Terrorists To Write Out All Their Motives In Detail
U.S. — In a move to capitalize on the current heightened volatility of the political climate, one ammunition manufacturer unveiled…
Nation Resets ‘Days Since Leftist Terrorist Attack’ Counter Back To Zero
U.S. — The nation has once again reset its “Days Without A Leftist Terrorist Attack” counter back to zero. Read…
Sinful, Rebellious Homeschooler Stays Up Past 9:30 To Read Chronicles Of Narnia
MILWAUKEE, WI — In a dreadful act of willful disobedience, sinful rebellious homeschooler Jaxsyn Clement stayed up past 9:30 p.m.…
Awkward Moment As Trump And Elon Caught On Kiss Cam
GLENDALE, AZ — President Trump and Tesla CEO Elon Musk shared an awkward moment Sunday during the memorial for Charlie…
MSNBC: Lincoln Shot By Union Soldier Celebrating
U.S. — MSNBC reported today that Abraham Lincoln has been shot by a Union soldier who was just firing his…