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Category: Babylon Bee

UK Police Release Updated Chart Showing Who You’re Allowed To Be Racist Against
Babylon Bee

UK Police Release Updated Chart Showing Who You’re Allowed To Be Racist Against

FinnJuly 1, 2025

LONDON — In a move intended to help citizens direct their hatred toward the appropriate parties, UK police released an…

Elon Sends Optimus Robot Back In Time To Terminate ‘Big Beautiful Bill’
Babylon Bee

Elon Sends Optimus Robot Back In Time To Terminate ‘Big Beautiful Bill’

FinnJuly 1, 2025

AUSTIN, TX — Tension between President Donald Trump his wealthiest and most well-known supporter reached a new level today, as…

Gavin Newsom Sues Gavin Newsom For Ruining His Political Career
Babylon Bee

Gavin Newsom Sues Gavin Newsom For Ruining His Political Career

FinnJune 30, 2025

SACRAMENTO, CA — Sources close to Gavin Newsom say that the California governor is launching a lawsuit against Governor Gavin…

Jeff Bezos’s Wedding 100% Funded By Your Wife’s Amazon Purchases
Babylon Bee

Jeff Bezos’s Wedding 100% Funded By Your Wife’s Amazon Purchases

FinnJune 29, 2025

TUCSON, AZ – Local man Jeremy Briggs sadly discovered this week that his wife’s Amazon purchases single-handedly funded billionaire Jeff…

Bad Sign? Trump Shoots Lightning from His Fingertips While Screaming ‘Unlimited Power!’ After Latest SCOTUS Ruling
Babylon Bee

Bad Sign? Trump Shoots Lightning from His Fingertips While Screaming ‘Unlimited Power!’ After Latest SCOTUS Ruling

FinnJune 28, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In what some are taking as perhaps a bad omen, President Trump responded to the SCOTUS ruling…

Massive Terrorist Sleeper Cell Discovered In Massachusetts
Babylon Bee

Massive Terrorist Sleeper Cell Discovered In Massachusetts

FinnJune 27, 2025

CAMBRIDGE, MA — The Department of Homeland Security announced that a massive terrorist sleeper cell was discovered hiding just outside…

Ayatollah Proudly Announces Iran Has Destroyed 14 Bunker Buster Bombs With Its Nuclear Facilities
Babylon Bee

Ayatollah Proudly Announces Iran Has Destroyed 14 Bunker Buster Bombs With Its Nuclear Facilities

FinnJune 26, 2025

TEHRAN — Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini declared a resounding victory over the United States and Israel after Iran destroyed 14 American…

Hamas Claims Responsibility For NYC Mayoral Primary
Babylon Bee

Hamas Claims Responsibility For NYC Mayoral Primary

FinnJune 25, 2025

NEW YORK — The Hamas terrorist organization has claimed responsibility for the results of last night’s mayoral primary in New…

10 Most Carbon-Friendly Vehicles In 2025
Babylon Bee

10 Most Carbon-Friendly Vehicles In 2025

FinnJune 23, 2025

With the world falling apart and the threat of a nuclear holocaust looming each day, everyone can agree that the…

Obama Distraught As Trump Bombs Cool Nuke Factory He Paid For
Babylon Bee

Obama Distraught As Trump Bombs Cool Nuke Factory He Paid For

FinnJune 23, 2025

EDGARTOWN, MA — With the news that the U.S. military had carried out a successful bombing operation in Iran over…

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