Here’s A Pickup Line To Use On A Girl Of Each Christian Denomination
If you’re a Christian guy looking to find a godly wife, you know it can be hard to start a…
Category: Babylon Bee
JD Vance Sweetens Deal By Offering Statue Of Liberty To Greenland
GREENLAND — In a bid to sweeten the offer of becoming an American territory, Vice President JD Vance has offered…
Kid Outed As Homeschooler After Looking Adult In The Eyes While Talking
PLANO, TX — Local seven-year-old Benjamin Gunther was outed as a homeschooler after he looked an adult directly in the…
Lego Introduces ‘California Home’ Set Where Kids Fill Out Permit And Wait 2 Years For Approval
LEGOLAND, CA — Representatives from LEGO gathered at Legoland in San Diego to unveil a new series of building sets…
Man Holds Off On Reading Bible So As Not To Ruin Suspense Of ‘Passion Of The Christ’ Sequel
RUIDOSO, NM — Local man Pete Blanton has decided to refrain from reading the Bible so as not to dampen…
Greenland Furiously Making Snowballs In Preparation For American Military Invasion
NUUK — Vice President JD Vance was met with a cold reception early Friday when he arrived in Greenland to…
Manufacturer Recalls Faulty Shopping Carts With 4 Functioning Wheels
U.S. — Kart Rite Manufacturing (KRM) issued a nationwide recall this week following the discovery of a grocery store shopping…
Hollywood Calls It Quits After Realizing It Will Never Top ‘Smokey And The Bandit’
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Movie production has officially ceased, ending the dreams of aspiring actors and screenwriters everywhere, as all Hollywood…
‘We Got Her’: British Police Arrest Dangerous 80 Year Old Who Spread Butter Using A Knife
LONDON — British authorities took one of the U.K.’s most dangerous individuals off the streets, with police announcing the arrest…
9 Dangerous Weapons Being Confiscated By British Police
The British Constable is on the prowl, and he is rounding up dangerous weapons by the minute to keep England…