Trump Signs Executive Order Mandating Second Breakfast
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The new administration continued to usher in a modern golden age for America, as President Donald Trump…
Category: Babylon Bee
‘I Have A Name,’ Sighs Man Known As Ethiopian Eunuch
ETHIOPIA — The man who became a Christian through the miraculous witness of the Apostle Philip was disappointed to learn…
Christian Couple Praying Their Kid Throws Up So They Can Avoid Hosting Small Group Tonight
TULSA, OK — Local couple Mark and Ellen Lindell prayed fervently today for their three-year-old to vomit so that they…
Men’s Group Text Enacts Formal Bylaws Banning Exclamation Points, Heart Emojis
WORCESTER, MA — A golden age has come to a local men’s group chat after bylaws were officially adopted which…
Cruel: Elon Musk Cuts Off Social Security Benefits For Thousands Of Revolutionary War Veterans
U.S. — The Department of Government Efficiency faced renewed calls for independent oversight after news broke that DOGE boss Elon…
Delta Adds A Little Hanging Tennis Ball To End Of Runway For Female Pilots
U.S. — As an added safety measure to prevent further runway catastrophes, Delta Airlines has added a little hanging tennis…
10 Suspicious Names Still On Social Security Rolls
Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency is still in the process of combing through the records of the Social Security…
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
CHICAGO, IL — Yet another batch of heathy vegan food was painstakingly synthesized using 957 chemicals earlier today at the…
Disney Is Abandoning DEI – Here Are 10 Based Changes They’re Making
Disney announced last week they would be discontinuing their Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion hiring practices, a giant move away from…
The Trump Admin Says Dept. Of Education Should Be Dis Mantled. This Is Why Their Mistaken
Following a tumultuous — and some may say — reckless — three weeks gutting government agencies vital in running our…