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Category: Babylon Bee

Entire American University System Officially Designated A Terrorist Organization
Babylon Bee

Entire American University System Officially Designated A Terrorist Organization

FinnSeptember 13, 2025

U.S. — The entirety of the American higher education system has officially been designated a terrorist organization by the United…

Report: Fathers Hugging Their Kids Tighter Today
Babylon Bee

Report: Fathers Hugging Their Kids Tighter Today

FinnSeptember 11, 2025

U.S. — In the face of what seems at times to be overwhelming darkness, a new report suggested that millions…

Cities Put Daniel Penny Scarecrows On Subways To Deter Crime
Babylon Bee

Cities Put Daniel Penny Scarecrows On Subways To Deter Crime

FinnSeptember 10, 2025

U.S. — Cities across the United States are placing Daniel Penny scarecrows around municipal transportation to scare off would-be criminals.…

Annual Wikipedia Fundraiser Says For Just $2.75 You Can Help Them Censor Truth
Babylon Bee

Annual Wikipedia Fundraiser Says For Just $2.75 You Can Help Them Censor Truth

FinnSeptember 10, 2025

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Internet users were given another rare opportunity to play a role in the dissemination of agenda-driven…

ICE Enforcement Action At Chocolate Factory Nabs 475 Illegal Oompa Loompas
Babylon Bee

ICE Enforcement Action At Chocolate Factory Nabs 475 Illegal Oompa Loompas

FinnSeptember 9, 2025

U.S. — The operations of a major candy manufacturer faced significant setbacks this week, as an ICE enforcement action at…

Democrats Condemn Stabbing Victims For Inflating Crime Numbers
Babylon Bee

Democrats Condemn Stabbing Victims For Inflating Crime Numbers

FinnSeptember 8, 2025

CHARLOTTE, NC — Democratic lawmakers responded to the fatal stabbing of a Ukrainian refugee aboard the Charlotte light rail by…

On Heels Of Second Bad Jobs Report, Trump Fires Math
Babylon Bee

On Heels Of Second Bad Jobs Report, Trump Fires Math

FinnSeptember 6, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In the wake of the second consecutive poor monthly jobs report, President Trump has announced that he…

Michigan Police Help Muslim Immigrants Feel Welcome By Wearing Suicide Vests
Babylon Bee

Michigan Police Help Muslim Immigrants Feel Welcome By Wearing Suicide Vests

FinnSeptember 5, 2025

DEARBORN HEIGHTS, MI — In what experts described as a major step toward a greater level of inclusivity for law…

British Refugees Travel To North Korea In Search Of Freedom
Babylon Bee

British Refugees Travel To North Korea In Search Of Freedom

FinnSeptember 5, 2025

PYONGYANG — A group of oppressed people arrived in a new land in hopes of making a better life for…

Man Who Needs To Wake Up Early Sets Dog To Vomit At 5:00 AM
Babylon Bee

Man Who Needs To Wake Up Early Sets Dog To Vomit At 5:00 AM

FinnSeptember 4, 2025

DENVER, CO — Struggling to find a way to get up early to make it in to work on time,…

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