Trump Invites Doubting Democrats To Touch The Hole In His Ear
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump laid rumors of health decline to rest yesterday by inviting doubting Democrats to come forward…
Category: Babylon Bee
English Bobbies Race Past 5 Stabbings To Tackle Offensive Social Media Poster
LONDON — In a courageous display of British defense of law and order, English bobbies were seen racing past five…
Dallas Cowboys Invoke 25th Amendment On Jerry Jones
DALLAS, TX — The Dallas Cowboys organization has officially moved to invoke the 25th amendment in order to remove owner…
The Babylon Bee Updated Guide To Christian Lingo
Christians, you might have noticed, have their own unique way of talking that can seem like a completely different language.…
Congregation’s Men Hit By Sudden Wave Of Allergies During Singing Of ‘Old Rugged Cross’
TOMBALL, TX — A sudden, inexplicable wave of allergies struck the men of Redeemer Church this morning during the singing…
RFK Jr. Vows To Make Sure Chemtrails No Longer Contain Seed Oils
U.S. — Health Secretary RFK Jr promised to make Americans healthier by ordering a thorough review of airline chemtrails to…
Democrats Demand Common-Sense Prayer Control
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold response to the recent shootings in left-leaning cities, Democratic leaders courageously stepped up to…
Travis Kelce Finally Acquires Ring Without Help Of Referees
U.S. — Travis Kelce, long-time tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs, has finally acquired an expensive ring without the…
Genius Trump Enacts Plan To Dumb Down Chinese Population By Inviting Them To Attend American Universities
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In yet another genius move designed to weaken a rival nation, President Donald Trump enacted a plan…
Mayorship Of New York To Be Awarded To First Candidate Who Can Bench Press The Bar
NEW YORK CITY — New York City has moved to adopt a new system whereby the mayorship will be awarded…