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Category: Babylon Bee

New Bible Reading App Just Texts You The Entire Bible One Verse At A Time
Babylon Bee

New Bible Reading App Just Texts You The Entire Bible One Verse At A Time

FinnFebruary 3, 2025

U.S. — A new Bible reading app called Daily Crumbs has taken the Christian community by storm thanks to the…

House On Jaden Smith’s Head Listed On Zillow For $1.6 Million
Babylon Bee

House On Jaden Smith’s Head Listed On Zillow For $1.6 Million

FinnFebruary 3, 2025

LOS ANGELES, CA — What had been an unpredictable Southern California housing market received an unexpected boost over the weekend,…

Punxsutawney Phil Deported After Birth Certificate Reveals He’s From Canada
Babylon Bee

Punxsutawney Phil Deported After Birth Certificate Reveals He’s From Canada

FinnFebruary 3, 2025

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA-Beloved groundhog Punxsatawny Phil has been deported back to Canada after the rodent failed to produce the needed paperwork…

Zelenskyy Asks U.S. For $20 Billion To Find Out Where That Missing $100 Billion Went
Babylon Bee

Zelenskyy Asks U.S. For $20 Billion To Find Out Where That Missing $100 Billion Went

FinnFebruary 3, 2025

KYIV — To date, the United States has allocated approximately $177 billion worth of aid to Ukraine, but the war-torn…

Trump Announces He Will Lift Tariffs On Canada Just As Soon As They Win A Stanley Cup
Babylon Bee

Trump Announces He Will Lift Tariffs On Canada Just As Soon As They Win A Stanley Cup

FinnFebruary 3, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Amid ongoing discussions with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, President Donald Trump announced he would lift Canadian…

Illegal Immigrants Helpfully Wave Flags So ICE Knows Where To Send Them
Babylon Bee

Illegal Immigrants Helpfully Wave Flags So ICE Knows Where To Send Them

FinnFebruary 3, 2025

U.S. — As deportation efforts continued to ramp up across the United States, several hundred illegal immigrants took to the…

To Announce They’ve Given Up Completely, DNC Selects David Hogg As Vice Chair
Babylon Bee

To Announce They’ve Given Up Completely, DNC Selects David Hogg As Vice Chair

FinnFebruary 2, 2025

NATIONAL HARBOR, MD — Announcing that it has now given up entirely, the Democratic National Committee selected David Hogg as…

Hungover Mark Cuban Wakes Up Hoping He Didn’t Make Any Dumb Basketball Trades Last Night
Babylon Bee

Hungover Mark Cuban Wakes Up Hoping He Didn’t Make Any Dumb Basketball Trades Last Night

FinnFebruary 2, 2025

DALLAS, TX — Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban woke up this morning incredibly hungover and hoping he didn’t do anything…

Wife Helpfully Explains To Husband What He Meant By What He Said
Babylon Bee

Wife Helpfully Explains To Husband What He Meant By What He Said

FinnFebruary 2, 2025

MANHATTAN, KS — Local wife Denise Thompson graciously sat down with her husband Mike to explain what he actually meant…

Democrats Unveil Their Top 10 Heroes Of Black History Month
Babylon Bee

Democrats Unveil Their Top 10 Heroes Of Black History Month

FinnFebruary 1, 2025

In honor of Black History Month, the Democratic Party has announced the authoritative list of its top ten black heroes.…

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