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Category: Babylon Bee

Clever Immigrant Evades Trump’s Deportation Efforts By Not Raping, Murdering, Stealing, Or Entering Country Illegally
Babylon Bee

Clever Immigrant Evades Trump’s Deportation Efforts By Not Raping, Murdering, Stealing, Or Entering Country Illegally

FinnJanuary 24, 2025

EL PASO, TX — As part of a genius plot to avoid President Trump’s deportation efforts, a local immigrant has…

Trump Deemed Unfit For Political Office After Doing What He Promised
Babylon Bee

Trump Deemed Unfit For Political Office After Doing What He Promised

FinnJanuary 24, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Mainstream media outlets deemed President Donald Trump unfit for office this week after he was witnessed doing…

Kamala Harris Excited To Begin New Career As Obscure Trivia Answer
Babylon Bee

Kamala Harris Excited To Begin New Career As Obscure Trivia Answer

FinnJanuary 24, 2025

LOS ANGELES, CA — Though insiders said leaving office was a difficult experience for Kamala Harris, the former vice president…

Hurr Durr! Get A Load Of This Retard Who Reads The Bible And Believes It Just Means What It Says
Babylon Bee

Hurr Durr! Get A Load Of This Retard Who Reads The Bible And Believes It Just Means What It Says

FinnJanuary 23, 2025

PHOENIX, AZ — A local Christian community was thrown into an uproar this week when it came to people’s attention…

10 Things Found By Trump’s Team When Cleaning Out The White House
Babylon Bee

10 Things Found By Trump’s Team When Cleaning Out The White House

FinnJanuary 23, 2025

President Donald Trump’s administration finally got settled into the White House this week, but word has it that cleaning the…

Greg Hartford Of Novi, Michigan Becomes First Person In History To Purchase WinRAR
Babylon Bee

Greg Hartford Of Novi, Michigan Becomes First Person In History To Purchase WinRAR

FinnJanuary 23, 2025

NOVI, MI — Local man Greg Hartford just made history by becoming the first person in the world to purchase…

Aw, Man: Columbia Student Just Graduated With DEI Degree
Babylon Bee

Aw, Man: Columbia Student Just Graduated With DEI Degree

FinnJanuary 23, 2025

NEW YORK CITY — Prospects have dimmed considerably for local woman Violet Weber, who just graduated in December from Columbia…

Late-Night Comedians Excited They Can Make Jokes About The President Again
Babylon Bee

Late-Night Comedians Excited They Can Make Jokes About The President Again

FinnJanuary 23, 2025

U.S. — Late-night comedy made a stunning return to form Monday following the inauguration of President Trump with hosts reportedly…

Fire Survivors Drive Back Toward Flames After Hearing Kamala Speak
Babylon Bee

Fire Survivors Drive Back Toward Flames After Hearing Kamala Speak

FinnJanuary 22, 2025

LOS ANGELES, CA — After briefly listening to former Vice President Kamala Harris speak, survivors of the Los Angeles fires…

Sad Hunter Biden Wondering Why No One Buying His Paintings Anymore
Babylon Bee

Sad Hunter Biden Wondering Why No One Buying His Paintings Anymore

FinnJanuary 22, 2025

MALIBU, CA — Hunter Biden looked visibly troubled this week as sales for his paintings plummeted by approximately 100%.   Read…

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