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Category: Babylon Bee

Europeans Beg JD Vance To Become President Of Europe
Babylon Bee

Europeans Beg JD Vance To Become President Of Europe

FinnFebruary 14, 2025

MUNICH — After witnessing his fiery speech against unchecked mass migration in Munich, residents of Europe begged JD Vance to…

9 Surefire Ways Bureaucrats Can Hide Fraudulent Spending From DOGE
Babylon Bee

9 Surefire Ways Bureaucrats Can Hide Fraudulent Spending From DOGE

FinnFebruary 13, 2025

With Elon Musk and the Department of Government Efficiency running roughshod over the federal government, bureaucrats have been scrambling to…

RFK Jr. Sworn In On Raw 32-Ounce Ribeye
Babylon Bee

RFK Jr. Sworn In On Raw 32-Ounce Ribeye

FinnFebruary 13, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a powerful statement, RFK Jr was sworn in as the next Secretary of Health and Human…

Jets Announce Plan To Keep Losing But Without Aaron Rodgers
Babylon Bee

Jets Announce Plan To Keep Losing But Without Aaron Rodgers

FinnFebruary 13, 2025

FLORHAM PARK, NJ — A changing of the guard was on the horizon in the NFL, as the New York…

Democrats Rush To Chug As Much Seed Oil As Possible Before RFK Jr. Takes Over
Babylon Bee

Democrats Rush To Chug As Much Seed Oil As Possible Before RFK Jr. Takes Over

FinnFebruary 13, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was confirmed Thursday as the next Secretary of Health and Human Services with…

Pope Francis Announces That God Agrees With Whatever It Is Democrats Want To Do Right Now
Babylon Bee

Pope Francis Announces That God Agrees With Whatever It Is Democrats Want To Do Right Now

FinnFebruary 13, 2025

ROME — Pope Francis, Pontiff of the Roman Church, has just confirmed that God agrees with whatever it is that…

Democrats, Republicans Panic As Trump Brings World To Brink Of Peace
Babylon Bee

Democrats, Republicans Panic As Trump Brings World To Brink Of Peace

FinnFebruary 13, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The reign of terror perpetrated by the Trump administration looked to continue this week, with Democrats and…

Uh-Oh: Lil X Just Came Up And Asked Government Employee What Exactly He Does Around Here
Babylon Bee

Uh-Oh: Lil X Just Came Up And Asked Government Employee What Exactly He Does Around Here

FinnFebruary 12, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Panic quickly ensued for federal government employee Jared Walker after Elon Musk’s son Lil X came up…

The Bee Ranks: The Top 10 Most Attractive People In Trump’s Cabinet
Babylon Bee

The Bee Ranks: The Top 10 Most Attractive People In Trump’s Cabinet

FinnFebruary 12, 2025

  Read MoreBabylon Bee FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer,…

Democrats Furious Republicans Trying To Control Government Just Because They Won Election
Babylon Bee

Democrats Furious Republicans Trying To Control Government Just Because They Won Election

FinnFebruary 12, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats have unleashed furious attacks on Republicans for using winning the election as an excuse to try…

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