Google Searches For Military School Skyrocket Ten Minutes Into Summer Vacation
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — Search engine giant Google released data this week showing that searches for “military schools near…
Category: Babylon Bee
Elizabeth Warren Vows New Tax On Puppies
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Arizona Senator Elizabeth Warren called for a dramatic change to the U.S. tax code that would…
California Passes Law Making It A Crime To Report A Crime
SACRAMENTO, CA — In a decisive move toward preventing any citizen journalists from uncovering massive fraud and corruption in…
SBC Approves Use Of Tasers On Any Visitor Who Tries To Slip Past Greeters
NASHVILLE, TN — The Southern Baptist Convention voted to adopt a new church policy on Wednesday where tasers can…
White House Announces Iran Deal Completely Done Except For All The Important Parts
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite ongoing bombing operations being carried out in recent days, members of the Trump White House…
Oh No: Band Going to Play Something From New Album
RED ROCKS, CO — Local concertgoers experienced a wave of dread Friday night when indie-rock front man Julian Vance…
Democrats Hopeful Average Texas Voter Wants To Ban Steak And Thinks God Is Gay
TEXAS — With the field now set for the Texas Senate race, Democrats are hopeful that the average Texan…
Wife Says Her Love Language Is All Of Them And You’re Going To Have To Guess Which One She Wants Today
PROVO, UT — Local wife Allie Goodman told her husband that she identified with all five of the common…
Tragedy: Multiple Trump Assassins Accidentally Shoot Each Other
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Tragedy unfolded in the nation’s capital again today, as multiple assassins attempting to kill President Donald…
Noah Fined By HOA For Parking Boat In Driveway
MESOPOTAMIA — Local righteous man Noah was the recipient of a hefty fine from his HOA today over parking…