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Category: Babylon Bee

Babylon Bee

Parents Choose Abortion After Devastating News That Their Baby Would Be Among Happiest Demographic On Earth

FinnJune 6, 2026

    SALEM, OR – Local parents Terry and Jessica Pritchard decided to abort their baby after receiving the devastating news…

Babylon Bee

Bears Forced To Leave Chicago After Every Player, Coach, Fan Killed In Drive-Bys

FinnJune 6, 2026

    CHICAGO, IL – The Chicago Bears organization announced today that it will be relocating out of the city due…

Babylon Bee

After Mail-In Ballots Tallied, Joe Biden Wins L.A. Mayor Race With 81 Million Votes

FinnJune 5, 2026

    LOS ANGELES, CA — After multiple days of late-night mail-in ballot drops finally being tallied, it was discovered that…

Babylon Bee

Should You Believe All Women? A Handy Flowchart

FinnJune 5, 2026

    Oh no! A woman has accused a political candidate of vile deeds! But should you believe them?   Oh no!…

Babylon Bee

Liberals Give Us Their 10 Most Convincing Arguments For Abortion

FinnJune 5, 2026

    Among Americans, there remains an ever-growing divide between those who are pro-life and those who are pro-killing-their-baby. In an…

Babylon Bee

‘Obsession’ Director Says He Got Idea For Horror Movie Having Once Met A Woman

FinnJune 5, 2026

    HOLLYWOOD, CA — Director Curry Barker has a surprise hit on his hands with his indie horror movie Obsession,…

Babylon Bee

40-Year Old Man Now Spends Inordinate Amount Of Time Researching Electrolytes

FinnJune 4, 2026

    SAN ANTONIO, TX — Sources confirmed that local 40-year-old Marcus Harper officially entered the developmental stage of adulthood characterized…

Babylon Bee

John Bolton Pleads Guilty, Sentenced To 5-Year Imprisonment At SeaWorld

FinnJune 4, 2026

    SAN DIEGO, CA — According to breaking news reports, John Bolton agreed to plead guilty to one count of…

Babylon Bee

Intensive Bible Study Reveals Elijah And Elisha Are Two Different People

FinnJune 4, 2026

    WILBURTON, OK — An intensive Bible study reportedly ended with the dramatic revelation that Elijah and Elisha are two…

Babylon Bee

Man Needing Break From Reality Turns On CNN

FinnJune 4, 2026

    FRANKLIN, KY — Following a long day at work in the middle of what had been a stressful week…

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Finn December 31, 2025
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