Scientists Theorize Existence Of Movie Not Starring Zendaya
CAMBRIDGE, ENGLAND — A team of leading physicists at the University of Cambridge theorized the existence of a motion…
Category: Babylon Bee
Due To Depleted Missile Supply, ‘Operation Epic Fury’ Downgraded To ‘Operation Mildly Aggressive Fury’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Due to a reportedly depleted supply of ballistic missiles following months of bombardment, military officials confirmed…
‘Ted Lasso’ Renewed Again Based On Strength Of Those Three Decent Episodes Back In 2020
U.S. — Apple TV series Ted Lasso has been renewed for a fifth season based on the strength of…
Man Convinced He And Henry Cavill Would Totally Be Best Friends If They Ever Met
FONTANA, CA — A local man has become convinced that he and the famous Superman actor, Henry Cavill, would…
Middle East Expanded To Include Michigan
DETROIT, MI — Following the Senate primary victory won last night by Abdul El-Sayed, an official announcement was issued…
New Progressive Bible Features Perforated Pages For Easy Removal Of Parts You Don’t Like
U.S. — Christians with strong liberal leanings were abuzz with excitement this week, as a publisher introduced a new…
Democrats Celebrate El-Sayed Victory By Firing AK-47s Into The Air
DETROIT, MI — Following the controversial candidate’s primary win in last night’s Michigan Senate primary, joyous Democrats celebrated Abdul…
Oh No: Your Female Coworker Just Learned How To Make A.I. Images
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Well, that’s not good. Read More FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor…
Southwest Announces Nonstop Flights From Denver Airport To Downtown Denver
DENVER, CO — Southwest Airlines announced this week that it was now offering nonstop flights from the Denver airport…
Government-Run Stores To Allow Anyone To Buy Groceries As Long As They Have Special Mark On Hand Or Forehead
NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani assured citizens today that a photo ID would not be needed to…