The Most Common Cause Of Death In Each Of The 50 States
A decades-long study by the CDC concluded that each American state bears its own unique cause of death. A…
Category: Babylon Bee
Rockies Ask Girl Scout Who Threw Out First Pitch If She Can Go 9 Innings Tonight
DENVER, CO — Struggling to find alternative options on the mound that could potentially give the team a better…
New Yorkers Excited To See How Never-Before-Tried Government Called ‘Socialism’ Turns Out
NEW YORK, NY — Citizens of New York are reportedly excited to see how this brand-new, never-before-tried system of…
In Powerful Act Of Protest, Liberals Begin Adding Algae To Drinking Water
U.S. — In a powerful showing of solidarity with the algae discoloring the newly-renovated Reflecting Pool, liberals across the…
Al-Qaeda Wins New York Primary
NEW YORK, NY — Almost 25 years after it successfully flew two jetliners into the Twin Towers, killing thousands…
To Raise Stakes, U.S. Army Given One Pick In Each Round Of NBA Draft
NEW YORK, NY — Seeking a way to spice things up after decades of the same draft format and…
Israelite Keeping Quiet That He Doesn’t Particularly Care For Milk Or Honey
MOUNT SINAI — In light of continued encouragement that the Israelites would enter a land “flowing with milk and…
Time Traveler From Year 3247 Warns They’re Still Making ‘Toy Story’ Movies
NEW YORK, NY — Citizens of the year 2026 were left confused on Tuesday after a rift in the…
Gas Pump Now Asks If You Want Car Wash, Receipt, Rewards, And If You Know The Airspeed Velocity Of An Unladen Swallow
U.S. — Before allowing customers to fill up with gas, pumps will now ask about a potential car wash,…
‘Supergirl’ To Show That Girls Can Be Just As Good As Boys At Everything Except Box Office
U.S. — When Supergirl releases in theaters on June 26, executives from Warner Bros. Pictures expressed confidence that the…